(first title) a compendium of the nature & attributes of the daemon-santitas from personal observation at great risk.
(7/2/6/04 7/27/04 76/29/04 8/5/04 9/2/04) (5/7/2024…want to share on blog)
when you refer to a demon santita,
you have to refer to her as they.
you don’t want to leave either / anybody out.
jk- the original Demonicus-Santisimus had a point. she scolded me for “not one good thing”. mdl: sure there are.
?new section : nice things about the daemon santita?
the beginning
this first sentence popped into my head and it started me writing up the characteristics of the santita:
naturally, our morals are not as highly elevated as hers. after all, she is a daemon-santita.
however, I have personally observed that in general, full-blown demon- santitas are very, very, very nasty and often smelly, stinkin’ drunk…a bad, ugly eve of the end of this world’s type of drunk.
which of course, the demon santitas celebrate as some kind of holiday. and usually it is. because the d-s are the purveyors/ the providers / the means by which whole galaxies are laid to rest/ rendered just (an important concept in most dimensions).
the role of the d-santitas is very aggressive and extremely dangerous. that they are capable of providing this service as the keepers of justice and the executors of demonic justice should indicate to the cautious reader that you shouldn’t read any further if you are ill disposed to this kind of knowledge.
however, I’ve already revealed what most observers of her demonicus santita highness believe her purpose to be:
d-s are at the service of some higher/ other power with which humans have absolutely zero contact or context for.
a lesser creature / intellect cannot comprehend a higher creature/ intellect.
aurobindo had it right. there is no way we can truly know what the demon santitas are/ or where they came from.
though in this compendium, I will speculate on all manner of theories, the true nature of the santita will always remain unknown.
this major characteristic of the santitas coupled with with their naturally evil, demonic disposition is extremely frightening and dangerous for mere humanoid mortals..
me? I’m a an annointed and terrified demon-santita’s helper. it is my duty to assist the d-s in her demonic encounters with humanoids and other terrestials.
whenever, wherever, under whatever circumstances, you meet one of the d-s, you are in a world of trouble..
no one can explain why quite properly because no one knows quite why that should be true in most cases (there may be exceptions). but it is. I asure you as your humble guide.
though all demon santitas are extremely dangerous to humans, there is a hierarchy of horror and terror amongst the demon santitas. may all the gods forbid it and may all the heaven’s help you if you were to come face to entity with one of the triple T’s flock of dominatrix santitas. you and all you’ve ever known are doomed.
***things you should not say
to a drunken demon-santita:
oh, you must have a wooden leg?
and it’s hollow, too, huh?
**Demons? They’re deathless. eternal. the undead.
They share many characteristics with old eastern european vampyres. one of many characteristics that santitas share with vampyres: They hate the sun. Can’t stand it…though they like garlic. they think/ claim it smells good on them. please… please… don’t laugh or roll your eyes. be obsequious and agree to all a D/S may say no matter how patently ridiculous it may sound in humanoid ears.
Why?
a major clue to this can be found in the most famous paintings of the european renaissance and baroque masters. take a look at series of ascension paintings and drawings: the sun is the enemy of the triple T. it causes the clouds to evaporate under her Triple T. highness as the cherubim and angels of various dimensions attempt to pull the dangerously gravity challenged three-ton tessie known as the Triple T into “heaven” or at least beyond the clouds.
what’s never explained is the terrified look on the little cherubin as they attempt to circle away from the clutches of the triple-t. they know that their number will be reduced when they reach the other side. the triple-t will be licking her chops as they struggle to drag the extremely obese “mother of you know who?” above the clouds. after a couple of thousand years, this mother of you know who stuff gets really old. not to say unbeleivable.
How to get on a demon-santita’s last nerve:
it really bothers them when you ask: Does that solve your problem?
dawdle like mad when you’re preparing to go out. take as much time as you like.
keep her waiting. then ask aren’t you ready? … yet?
when they suggest you ask for directions because it appears that you’re effen lost.
stand on principle. no man’s man asks for directions. have her ask and then get
lost again … on purpose … and blame it on her.
Amongst the worst things you can say to a daemon santita: You know how you are, demon santita?
you can recover from any perceived insult (and you must remember d-santitas are very sensitive in many areas and are easily offended) by simply resorting to extreme forms of gross and gratuitous flattery. they love that b-shit. eat it up by the truck-load.
Lee Harvey Oswald only statement in his own defense was yelled to the press: I’m only a patsy.
Me, I’m just an anointed though deeply troubled and terrified demon santita helper. and every day in its own way is Xmas. Que no?
….your humble guide: Moses de Leon, the author: a compendium of the nature and attributes of the demon-santitas from personal observation at great risk.
Moses de León (c. 1240 – 1305), known in Hebrew as Moshe ben Shem-Tov (משה בן שם-טוב די-ליאון), was a Spanish rabbi and Kabbalist who first publicized the Zohar. Modern scholars believe the Zohar is his own work, despite his claim that he took traditions going back to Shimon bar Yochai and committed them to writing. His other works include Sefer ha-Rimon, written in Hebrew, and hundreds of pseudepigraphic responsa, commentaries, and Kabbalistic tracts which he falsely attributed to earlier authorities. (Wikipedia).
Moses de León (c. 1240 – 1305)
- August 5, 2004 more attributes of the
- demon-Santita
original title: a compendium of the nature and attributes of the demon-santita from personal observation at great risk.
another title: a compendium of the natural and un-natural characteristics and attributes of the demon santitas from personal observation at great risk.
no entity is nastier in their mocking diatribes than a sarcastic daemon-santita.
Butter
demon- santitas love butter but Butter to the d-santitas is like garlic to vampyres. They love it but it makes them break out in huge ugly warts and worse (if there is worse for demon-santitas) it contributes/ is the main ingredient/ the energizing factor in that old/ jaded/ hoary/ unter and uber-biblical concept: gravity challenged.
the correct answers with explanations from
your humble guide) to anything a Daemon–
Santita may ask you/ address to you:
1. Demon-Santita: I had to open my own car door.
Correct response: And whose fault is that?
Explanation: the demon santita of course doesn’t need mechanical transportation devices to transport herself wherever the H. she is going. after all, she’s a demon-effen-santita. by responding whose fault is that?
you will set the santita off on her favorite topics: faults, sins, etc thus distracting her wrath from you.
2. and when the D-Santitas accuse you of inveigling and saying bad things about them:
the Correct response: first. try not to laugh. it only enrages their divine demon wrath. Simply say “But… But… But… santita, santita, i’m only a humanoid, you’re the demon-santita”.
and then duck. when santitas are angry, they instinctively slash out with their pointy claws and snatch the offending humanoids heart right out of their chest cavity. This crushing end to most discussions with demon-santitas is not unusual.
3. and if the d-s should ask/ complain about the exaggerations and down right fabrications in your accounts of her, don’t say: You know, santita, your sister, the Medusa probably had a bad, very bad biographer … and whew, legendarily bad PR.
4. if you should run into a d-santita and she asks What do you want?
Correct response: Guess, santita. after all you’re the psychic santita… my little psychic santita. (and then very slowly, enunciating each word: ) What do you think i want?
and of course, my advice would be to agree with whatever the d-santita comes up with.
they get very upset/ rantingly angry, humanoids would say psychotically angry at the mere idea that some other entity, especially a puny humanoid would even dare to think a santita might be wrong about any-effen-thing.
and you don’t want to be hanging around with a psychotically angry demon-santita on a rampage.
5. if the d-s should ask you Why do you call me daemon-santita?
Correct answer: because you’re a gemini.
why? this should make the D/S smile, happy?… i, your humble guide have never figured out.
Note: if you like, you can throw in a sincere “of course, of course, santita”.
6. It really annoys the demon-santitas when you ask them: Is it too hot in here for you, santita?
it reminds them of their bi-furcality and it especially annoys them, if you kind of roll your eyes.
be careful. d-santitas will sometimes act out their demonic rage by plucking them (your eyes) out of their sockets. duck.
if they’re in a good mood, they will simply bust you up with a quick slash of their pointy appendages.
gdl: this one makes me laugh every time.
7. Demon santitas are (of course) the laziest entities (i don’t say god’s creatures) in the whole known and unknown inter-stellar galaxies. which is why they’re often found around the Bahamas, Trinidad or the Bermuda Triangle.
And even in the heat of equatorial islands or the Gobi desert (where many of them lived for a long time.) they complain that it’s freezing. If you ask why? They respond: you know how i am.
Note: of course, there’s no way of knowing what atrocities the demon-santita committed to become a demon-santita. that’s hidden in some unperceivable pre-history.
Living with a Demon-Santita (and being horrified, terrified and terrorized every moment of my life especially in my dreams) absolves me from any crimes/ sins/ acts of omission and commission i’ve committed or will / intend to commit.
the real explanation is that the d-santitas are originally from the cold side of hell. ah, yes, my dear reader, us humanoids never considered such a place might actually exist. no humanoid has returned from hell. but the d-santitas are from there and they assure me that they lived in the arctic regions of hell. Hence the expression: cold as hell. one could say they are visitors from the cold side of hell.
that why they confuse humanoids so easily. we’re simply no match for a d-s from you (now) know where.
8. very importantly, they love it when you address them as the “demonicus-santitisimus” instead of their real names. you should go along with this. if you don’t, the d-s will tear your head off and use it for one of their demonic games.
even then, don’t panic, the d-santitas will return your head when they’re through kicking it around.
and except for some strangely colored hair, you will be as good as new.
how does that work? well, technically, you are dead for that period of time that you are without a head. but the moment the d-s gives you back your head, it’s back on your head. and you’re not dead. no eternal harm, no foul. how does she do that? she exists in dimensions we’re not even aware of.
which is why many humanoids say we’re all dying. or we’re busy dying from the moment we get here to the moment we leave. or i feel dead. that’s all because the d-s play kickball with all our heads for days at a time. oh how , the d-s laugh when someone says Hold your head up.
9. the demonicus-s do have an intergalactic sense of humor.
10. d-s are in charge of the multitude of dimensional gates between life and death and heaven and hell. that’s their job. if they have a job…???
i’ve seen demon santitas practicing saying no to humanoids.
with a quiet, barely audible murmur in nahuatl, they raise a long pointy finger that looms over the expectant supplicant (deceased to be ) and very slowly move it left to right … right to left. it’s very eeerie.
unless of course the d-santita likes you. then she is so sweet … in her demonesque kind of way.
- oh and never, never ask a d-santita is there enough room for you to pass?
D-S are very sensitive about their girth. heaven forbid they think a humanoid is mocking them as being cellulite rich, gravity challenged or over endowed in the nether regions. as I said, they are very sensitive.
Other attributes of the D-Santitas:
1. They can see in the dark (of course).
2. to our earth bound senses, d-santitas appear to be wonderfully mannered and gentle earth women. that’s just the eye-candy wrapper, my man.
Remind you of any particular humanoid gender? don’t be taken in. if you are taken in, it’s at your own peril.
they are extremely dangerous precisely because of this demonic disguise that throws off most male humanoids…especially those of us who still regard ourselves as god’s gift to you know who? or is that what?
in this dimension, to our physical sight, they appear to be wonderfully appealing female humanoids.
It’s just a disguise. Don’t be fooled, my brothers.
but d-santitas exist in various dimensions that are combinations of time, space, distance and willfullness while appearing normal in the guise of a female humanoid with all the fear and terror that implies to us male humanoids.
however, if you can sneak a tactile touch of d-santitas elbows, fingers, toes, knees or chinny-chin-chin, you will quickly realize that though appearing nice and normal, a seemingly uni-natured santita…the demonesque nature of the entity is lurking over/under and all around the santitisimus’ demeanor.
this tactile reconnaissance, my dear reader, can only be done at great personal risk and should not be attempted by men with weak hearts or weak minds or weak, atrophied digital extremities.
many of the most terrifying and horrific aspects of the demon-santitas are thankfully hidden from humanoid sight. if our eyes could truly see the terror and live, we would be demon-santitas. their monstruousness and demonesque-ness knows no bounds but our vision is limited by our physical dimension. the d-santitas stand outside our dimension and haunt us.
my sense (as your humble guide) is that the santita aspect of the demonicus-santita is the true demonic center of the d-s.
the edges of these various appendages are exaggeratedly pointy to the touch. one quickly realizes these features and body parts (pointy chinny-chin-chin, pointy nose, elbows, knees, teethies) that can spear and fatally injure most humanoid mortals are unseen. cannot be seen by humanoids though they are revealed to the touch of fingertips.
3. Demon Santitas are (of course) psychic
in their demonicus sort of way.
They like to mess with your head by tossing out a thousand guesses before finally, after you’ve given up in despair, the demon santita gives her true psychic prediction. when you say, why didn’t you say so to begin with. the d-s will then say: i thought of that first.
so why the eff, does the demon santita toy with our thoughts and desires like a spider with a fly in its net? there’s only one explanation: they’re daemon santitas.
4. they’re extremely ancient. But never, never ever say to a d-santita: you know what a fussy old santita you are.
many of them are millions of years old and thus are very sensitive in the age area.
no one knows quite when in pre historic times, they came into being. Eons of kalpas ago. According to the Trini-Indians who are said to be descended from some rogue daemon-santita. Which explains a lot about those weird islanders.
It goes without saying, never say to a d-santita: santita, santita, you’re older than methuselah.
They never liked him.
there’s one very underground legend that they kept him alive way beyond the time he should have passed, so they could entertain themselves torturing him and tearing body parts off that they then re-grew on him for another round of torturing the feeble old humanoid. a favorite d-santita sport from way back.
5. the easiest way to get a d-santita to do anything you may want her demonesqueness to do is to say: it’s the worst thing you could do/ have (if it involves items to be consumed).
i write in the theory/ My theory/ explanation for this compendium is that most biography is mainly attribution and fabrication.
6. and, of course, the d-santitas doesn’t consume humanoid food (like you and i).
a d-s can , in theory, consume anything or anyone in the whole effen universe. the d-santitas’ appetite is very catholic…. one might say. though, of course, the rcc is like a new born puppy compared with the ancientness of the demon-santitas.
7. d-santitas have various visible and invisible aspects. humanoids are only able to see them in their humanoid form. in this form, they usually appear as beautiful, demonically seductive females.
8. in the new world, d-santitas communicate using the ancient american language, nahuatl. pronounced Now What? you can sometimes hear them out in the shadows on dark, strange nights laughing at their nahuatl jokes.
why did the d-santitas adopt nahuatl?
because the native americans worshipped them in various forms. most especially in mexico, where they were represented in the form of Coatlicue a huge, blocky goddess with humanoid skulls and snakes hanging from her skirt.
and the mexicans showed the required respect. they were more than happy to sacrifice little children and chihuahas to them.
mdl: pobrecito little chihuahitos. the santitas call them finger food and are still angry at the europeans and their xian minions for eliminating this wonderful manner of expressing respect for their demon-santitas.
9. never, never ever hand the tv remote control to a demon-santita. she will think you’re asking her to turn you into an ectoplasmic version of one. the only way to get the remote back from them is to dangle sticks of butter and hope the santita drops the remote in the ensuing swirl.
explanation: there has been a long discussion, debate, confusion on the gender of the d-santita. Is it a he, she, it, they, he-she-them?
this experiment with the tv remote control clearly indicates she is of the female persuasion/ gender. and could well be (your humble guide is totally convinced she is) the prototype for all kind of B patterns of behavior.
10. if you are not obsequious enough for a d-s, she claims rights of consumption and proceeds thereto.
this will be explained further in your humble guide’s description of the holiest of holy times for the d-santitas.
11. nothing can stop a d-s doing anything she wants to do and wills herself to do.
12. d-s re-define truth with total, utter disregard for anyone other than themselves.
?does that remind you of any one (or gender) you know? I ask this most respectfully…sure, of course, yes, of course, how else could it be?.
the year of gluttony
most folks from almost all universes and dimensions know better than to interrupt a demon santita doing almost anything a demon santita wants to do. most especially when they’re… uh … consuming … for lack of a better humanoid word/concept.
unfortunately, there are some folks who don’t have the manners deemed proper by the demonicus-santisimus… and there have been some unfortunate accidents.
especially during the year of gluttony. their most sacred holiday. it comes around every 100,000 years or so. some movement of the moon against venus throws it slightly off. it would be in-correct to say every 100,000 years on the dot.
during this holiest year for the d-s, whole galaxies and universes are consumed by muti-dimensional hordes of d-s screaming in their god-forbidden language (nahuatl).
the scream is not really understable
but the rough humanoid translation of
the scream is BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and you don’t want to be near any butter. you don’t want to be part of a demon-santita accident.
can santitas be held to account for their part in these accidents (the consumption of the offending soul). No.
they have total immunity from any kind of humanoid laws. if the physical laws of this universe don’t apply, is there any possibility that mere humanoid laws would hold a d-s accountable???
living with a d-santita and through many trials and errors and much personal tribulation,
i’ve learned a trick that works every time. never fails. but it’s knowledge that i cannot divulge in mixed company… if you know what i mean.
after all, her minions are sure to read this compendium. that i’ve gone this far, surprises and frightens me no end. demonicus re-define truth with utter disregard for anyone other than themselves. and they’re extremely sensitive to any kind of perceived disrespect.
a compendium of their natural and un-natural attributes may be offensive to the extremely paranoid and a d-s is by definition dangerously capable of acting on that paranoia.
one thing… i’m not gonna do.. is write this out in nahuatl (now what?)
because then the d-s would be sure to read it herself. she never learned any of the european languages. d-santitas hate english (one of the most important languages of early 21st century earth). d-s won’t speak it on a dare from other d-sanitas. they’re always messing with each other, saying to each other: when are you going to learn to speak english? and then they fall out laughing, chortling obscenities in nahautl.
if you are not obsequious enough for a d-s, she claims rights of consumption and proceeds thereto.
you must learn real quick if you are to survive in a galaxy/ universe/ tar-pit earth dominated by the d-santitas.
nothing can stop a d-s from doing anything she wants to do and wills herself to do.
8.11.04
Chicken is Nice,
Chicken is Nice.
(started this segment while on hike in Debs Park with Steve).
chicken is nice. chicken is nice with pound butter and rice.
-earthling chant
chicken is nice. chicken is nice with demon (!) butter and rice.
-one of the santitas favorite demonic chants.
for the most part, the demon-santitas have total contempt for all things and creatures that may now or have ever inhabited our planet, the earth.
the one and only thing that endears
the earth to the demon-santitas
is the chicken. as in chicken curry.
recipe for demonicus santisimus
chicken curry
though to be fair, this is not the only reason that the demon-santitas have taken this delightful little creature to their bosom. being multi-dimensional, the demon santitas bosom is, of course, a mine-field of demonic, psycho-energy forces and un-human, other earthly compulsions.
somewhere along the line the demon santitas became addicted to chicken curry but in a demonic kind of way.
the demon santitas compete to gather and tend to large flocks of chickens. exactly one hundred thousand chickens make up these flocks. why one hundred thousand? no one on earth knows why the demon santitas do as they do, think as they think (if they can be considered to think in some cosmic sense. lord knows, they do not think in any kind of humanoid sense that i know of) or behave as they behave towards chickens and humanoids. one they adore and the other they abhor.
the demon santitas tend, mother, feed and fuss over all their little chickens. settling the little clucking matters as B chicks are wont to engage in as chickadees.
you should hear them. good effen god! you would think they were one loud nuclear family going through their daily rituals…mainly shitting on everything.
she makes sure the chickens go to art and ballet school with the very best instructors. who perforce are obliged to give these lessons for a mere peck of corn and some rice.
the chickens would be offended if the d-s compensated the dance instructors in some other fashion…. ??? monetarily? after all, they are chickens, my good reader.
she , of course, like any rational parent refuses to send her little darlings to public or private daycare, kindergartens or schools. what could humanoids possibly have, know, comprehend well enough to teach her little darlings?
the dance instructor can hardly refuse this request from a demon santita. d-santitas don’t take well to NO.
nor would it be a good idea to follow that up with the classic male repartee: what part of NO did you not understand?
demon-santitas do not understand NO! and you need to learn that. and by the way…oh yeah, i gots to tell you that the demon santitas are mean, nasty and extremely, one would say; violently quick, quick teachers, my man.
zap and you are heading to one of those other dimensions. the ones called heaven and hell. life and death. oh. yeah. those places exist. and the demon santita is the keeper of all the many dimensional gates to hell, heaven, life, death, etc.
oh. yeah… there’s lots of etcetera too. they don’t tell you till you’re on the ride there.
most humanoids think is heaven over there.
and most don’t stop to think that if you say heaven is in the sky then the birds of the skies and assorted space travelers will get there way before you do. and yet given the multi-level and dimensional actuality/ whatever you choose to call this moment, someone may start before you to one of these destinations (life, death, heaven, hell) and you could, my dear reader, follow and arrive before them.
why? as i said, the santitas are guardians of universal, galaxial, constellation-wide gates of existence and of course being of a demonic-santita persuasion, they like to mess with folks.
punishment?
the true meaning of punishment is that time spent on the demon santitas inter-dimensional travel / transport.
in order to get from one level, dimension to another, the subjects (and of course, humanoids are not the only creatures traveling between dimensions) travels on the Daemon Santita Hexa-Dimensional Transport Services. the cost is of course enormous.
it goes by the male-humanoid expression: everything?
as in the b. got everything … all I got left is this nasty, dirty, greasy toothbrush that the santita used to clean out the chicken pens.
though this despair ,of course, is not a good or adequate response to the rude awakenings that male humanoids suffer at the hands of the daemon-santitas.
why males? why not females? viaduct? vi-not a chicken?
the demon santita knows how the make the trip long, terrifying and extremely harrowing.
if you weren’t already dead, you would die a million deaths.
well, we are kind of dead and we are way over there but not in the way we’ve thought/ believed/or even considered or could possibly comprehend.
on this, i have to take the demonicus-santita’s word: since no man has ever returned from hell, heaven, death. and it’s hard to tell when you’re being fed bullshit or chicken feed by a demon santitas.
after all these are ancient entities whose passion on earth (though unearthly by our puny standards) was/is and will be nurturing and feeding rice and corn and bread, pieces of vegetables and who knows what else obtained from humanoids. enough to feed a hundred thousand chickadees
******8.11.2004 note: change time frame and # of chickens to 100,000. or even 100 million-billion
they give the chickens names. there being so many chickens, the demon santitas have to use female names from all of the galaxies many languages. thus there is no need for duplicate names amongst the 100,000 chickees.
it’s a tribute to the santitas demonic mental make up that they recall the names and features of all the chickadees in their flocks.
only the demon santitas know the true nature of chickens. and this, they don’t reveal to mere humanoids. to them chickens are sacred and meant to be consumed by them. they don’t like to share chicken morsels with humanoids. and will at times feed transmogrified humanoids to their flock of chickens. it’s a really disgusting practise that most humanoids and even most extra terrestrials from other galaxies would find to be disgusting.
not that the d-s gives a good god-damn what puny mortals or others may think of her.
but as we said before, the daemon-santitas morals are very different on many levels than ours.
the little chickens think of the demonicus as their mothers and they go everywhere the d-s goes. she calls each by special names. in this manner in a few short earth length years, the little chickies are grown to nice fat, greasy chested robust adult chickens.
sometimes you can hear the d-s calling out their hundred thousand names: ah little claudia, sylvia, ariceli, come here, my baby, ooh, you’re so tiny.. eat up. you, too, all of you…marisa, maria, juana, phyllis, Akawaka……etc, etc.
then the year of gluttony approaches.
in the decadaes/ years preceding the year of gluttony, the demon santitas go into an audaciously passionate campaign of rage and love against the chickens. consuming huge quantities of chicken- curried, oven baked, fried, barbecued, steamed. then on the eve of the year of gluttony: raw ones each in their special demon santitas’ curry sauce.
when they get into the raw chicken you know the year of gluttony is on us/ nearly upon us/around the corner/ approaching and it don’t mean any good for us puny humanoids.
****why?
love, the demon santitas say, is much like chicken curry and/ or rage as they lovingly twist the necks of their feathered children. while readying huge vats of olive oil and curry mixtures. the vats are huge volcanic earth works which the demon santita fashions over a couple of hundred of our years. they dwarf most of our large public or private structures.
ah… and the demon santitas do love their chicken curry. they slaughter millions (remember all the demon santitas are engaged with chickens for a thousand years). and of course, they consume huge quantities of chicken curry.
as they feast on the chicken curry, they comment on the tenderness or savoriness of little claudia, my super smart sylvia, com’on ariceli, go ahead marisa, you, too maria, juana, phyllis, kyoko, miyako….etc, etc.
(added to office Compendium Aug 5 on 8.16.2004)
8.11.2004
every now and then when i get a sliver of an idea. i’ll write it up. i’m beginning to consider this like the dichos and the calendario. raw material. may never use it. but if i need it, i will have it.
the artists and the demon santitas
and others tales of
d-s mayhem and woe
late in his short life, richard farina’s acquired the ability to play the dulcimer in a way that no one ever had and with a flair and artistry that defined the genre of english & american folk/rock/world music before many others had an inkling that these existed.
and why the dulcimer? no humanoid knows. but I’m here to tell the truth. the boy was the darling of a demon santita with whom he traded fame, notoriety and an early death for the ability to play like a demon.
and of course, i have the extremely dangerous benefit of many life-times of observation and interaction with one of the most powerful, super-intelligent demonicus-santisimas.
i know that many would say she was savagely quick with the dispensation of justice. earth humanoids would say she was brutally quick. others with less vested interest in the survival of humanoids would argue with that. i myself withhold opinion. i don’t want no effen daemon-santita p.o.d with me. no thank you.
you’ve heard those tales of an artist selling their soul to the demon santitas? they’re all true.
allow your humble guide to be the first to offer that there are far worse things to do with this writhy little thing humanoids call a soul. of what value is that slimy, slithery little thing to us. but to the d-s it’s worth its weight in spun gold.
this is a methaphor. d-s have no use and probably no concept of the value of spun gold which makes them about equal with their earthly b-sisters.
the constellations are full of different meanings for the same sounding word. the d-santita doesn’t look on it like we, poor, puny humanoid minds look upon it. the d-santita takes huge portions of these baby frog look alikes that humanoids call souls and grinds them all up in a gigantic food processor with huge portions of a specially demonic blend of seasonings. mountains of garlic, cilantro, onions, parsley, mustard, sesame seed oil & a dash of aromatic bitters to make a green seasoning for their chicken dishes.
in another chapter we observe the d-s obsession with the female of the barnyard fowl. they use this in preparing their obscenely huge cauldrons of the demi-winged bird of the earth.
the power and the glory of the d-s
the d-s is a true end all and b all entity that holds all real power in or out of existence.
though the d-s are the only true holders of the power of life and death, heaven and earth for creatures of many constellations. for the most part we (all these sub-demon santita creatures) are unaware of their existence.
our carbon-centric egotism has blinded us to the demonicus dwelling amongst us. the santita of course likes to mock us with little catch phrases from demonic fabrications held dear by humanoids. sometimes, in good humor …god forbid you ever run into a demon-s in bad humor. think a million Bs on pms and then multiply that. good effen god…. the d-s write out in earthling debris one of their little implanted jokes and then toss it into the nearest body of water and watch earthling creatures drinking that demon santita prepared concoction. water.
the d-santita has a hostility towards good hygiene, grooming or any kind of cleanliness in the earthling sense.
this hostility borders on the psychotic. she likes the terror that the 1st whiff of an approaching demonicus. of course, in case any demon santitas are reading this compendium, no way can a d-s be classified as psychotic. of course not. yeah. honestly. cross my effen heart.
the Daemonicus-Santisumus JK screams at me: Fuck you!
G: of course, DaemonSantita….. you’re so right!!!! i’m so happy you said that… you’re a true wonder…yes, yes, Santisimus… yes… yes… Yes with mayonnaise!
8.13.2004
what quality do humanoids need to
survive their encounters with d-ss?
obsequiousness. yes. obsequiousness. what do i mean by this?
well, you should practice turning it into a game. nothing santitas like more than games, gambling, wagers of any kind. i call this game messing with the d-santita. think of yourself as the mirror in cinderella.
Hey, hey, hey! Tell ‘em anything they want to hear … make it obvious you’re showing proper respect.
if you have a spare xian child to offer the d-s, so much the better.
sample dialogue that will serve you well in any and all dealings with the d-s:
yes, santita…of course demon-santita…yes, your demonicus santita…oh, never, never santita, of course not, that was certainly not my intention…yes..yes…yes…yes..(ad infinitum)
if the d-s should ask you
just about anything with
obvious mal-intent what is
the correct response?
first, believe me d-santitas only have mal-intent towards all manner of earthlings except their flocks of chickens.
2ndly, never give a straightforward answer to anything a demon santita may ask you. it makes you look weak vis a vis you know who/ that gender centric entity/ that persuasion.
3rdly, lie! lie like a rug. lie like you’ve never lied to anyone in your life. demon santitas love well told lies. in their demonic belief system of course lying is one of the higher virtues.
it ranks slightly behind the highest virtue in the d-s demonicus santisimo cross-dimensional, cross-constellation beliefs and one of the most famous dichos of the mad, kabbalistic d-s observer of the 14th century, ebrahim de leon: a truly evil entity tells the truth as though it were a lie.
d-santitas love that stuff. It’s like shakespeare to them. they would bust out laughing and of course chortling their other dimensional obscenities in nahuatl.
if a demon santita should catch
you with a copy of this compendium
and ask if it’s about her, what is
the correct response?
of course, it is santita, isn’t everything about you? yes, of course, d-s, what else could possibly be of interest to us but your demonicus? nothing… i assure santita… nothing is dearer to our heart than every every stray moment, demonic thought and/or act engaged in by your demonicus-santita-ness. of course not.
oh, the demon santitas eat that bullshit up. just love that stuff. be careful to deliver it with an entirely respectful tone. you don’t want the d-s to think you’ve slipped over into satire.
***
- added to d-santita #1
what would the demon santita see if she walked through el serreno? what would she see different about the same things that humanoids see?
#1 8.17 04
the demon santita sometimes comes down from her local hideout in the canyons and high deserts of the Angeles forest far from most humanity. she needs a lot of space for her chickens.
so what would the demon santita see if she walked through el serreno? what would she see different about the same things that humanoids see?
the demon santita has known forever and may very well be the inventor of the concept that sight is by its nature psychological.
of course the demon santitas’ psychological makeup is very different from yours or mine.
the demon-santita swears she has no psychological make-up by all the little cherubim she has accidentally eaten.
she calls them morsels with feathers which she says she spits out.
which would bring her into conflict with most religious authorities that eating cherubim was/ is frowned on in most sects of the one true and quite possibly fanciful history of the church. there were unfortunate exceptions but, well…most church authorities do not venture too far down that road.
the santita’s psycho- mentality is way further in that unfortunate direction.
if she were to come through this area she would see the history and the future of the humanoids but she would have seen the periods before the humanoids, before the coming to life of the 1st creatures, the 1st plants, the oceans and the stars, the beginning of whatever before the here existed
as i’ve indicated earlier, the d-s are ancient entities that pre date the earth. we don’t know what hand they had in creation though there are tales in most cultures regarding demon-santitas and the creation.
in some aboriginal american cultures, a she demon is depicted dropping a huge turd in the shape of the earth. no information exists on who this demon was.
8.14.04
#2. do daemon santitas have
common sense?
no. no. no. the demon santitas do not have what we call “common sense”. They have daemon santita sense which they claim is superior to any earthling common sense.
on examination, common sense is culturally bound thought and not very useful to any one but the extremely self satisfied. narrow minded bigots (especially carbon centered bigots) are very comfortable with common sense. the mere existence of a demon santita is of course beyond the grasp of earthling common sense.
***
what would the demon santita say as she looked on what we see. the d-s has no compunction about meeting out justice. her mildest form of this justice is the cruelest, meanest, nastiest invective in her other wordly nahuatl.
translated loosely perhaps un-ethically: haganse al lado desgraciados, babosos, hijos de la chingada madre, floating scum from the ass end of the universe.
of course it loses a lot in translation to any european language. the closest possible translation is of course in the ancient american language, nahuatl. and the demon santita claims she taught nahuatl to the ancient americans.
******
for some reason the demon santita believes this kind of invective if properly administered will have a positive effect.
far be it from me to argue this fine philosophical/ filosofico point with a demon santitas.
especially given how quickly things can get nasty and dangerous for me. some days the demon santita has me ducking and dodging, weaving and bobbing, hiding under manhole covers and doorways, doing everything i can to avoid being speared by one of the demon santita’s seemingly infinite number of pointy appendages.
the daemon santita tries not to actually interact with any but the most limited # of humanoid contacts. as I’ve reported earlier, sometimes… perhaps often… there are accidents.
you have to take the d-s at her word. even if she burps right on you while telling you all she knows about the “accidents” that some her brethren/ flock/ herd/ coven/ tribe have engaged in. call it what you will.
the d-s sees everything that’s here. she doesn’t have compassion in the sense that she has the sure knowledge of what lies behind and ahead and all around all the time. she sees no need for compassion.
you and i have to wait to find out. the d-s has been there and back. it’s old news to the d-s. humans don’t usually go in for eugenics but the d-s has no such compulsion.
****
under heading : things not to say
to a demon-santita
and be careful not to say something like: sure, demon-santita, that and four-fifty buys you a cup of coffee most places.
oh and never ask a d-santita “is there enough room for you to pass?” D-S are very sensistive about their girth. heaven forbid they think a humanoid is mocking them for being cellulite challenged, gravity challenged or over endowed in the nether regions.
7 May 2024… nota: came across this in my documents…
and oldie. last worked on in 2004…yikes 20 years ago
but i found it funny. hope i’m not the only one.
maldichos 