Some guiding Dichos, Man to Man about You Know who, Famous Last Words & Ay, tu…Los Buenos Dichos —four short sections of the Maldixos

6 5 2018.   these short sections are the last to be culled from the 2001 MD’s.  i edited the raw Dichos for format or punctuation purposes.  the entire collection is now in category titled MalDichos.  i don’t pretend that there are redeeming qualities in taking a non-censorship attitude and allowing vulgar, gender insensitive Dixos to pass into the public realm…but….in my defense, i’ll take Jimi Hendrix’s statement when asked why he played…though i would say destroyed the slave anthem? …. fuck it.  i’m an american.

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some guiding dichos

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.       – W Shakespeare Julius Ceasar

Let us waste no time in sterile litanies and nauseating mimicry. Leave this Europe where they are never done talking of Man, yet murder men everywhere they find them, at the corner of every one of their own streets, in all the corners of the globe.                                             -Jean Paul Sartre’s preface to Frantz Fanon’s The Wretched of the Earth

It is the system itself that, that is incapable of producing freedom for the twenty-two million Afro-Americans. Just like a chicken can’t lay a duck egg because the system of the chicken isn’t constructed in the way to produce a duck egg. And just as that chicken system can’t produce, is not capable of producing a duck egg, the political and economic system of this country is absolutely incapable of producing freedom and justice and equality and human dignity for the twenty-two million Afro-Americans … and if a chicken was to produce a duck egg, it would be considered a revolutionary chicken.”            -Malcolm X

“I believe that there will ultimately be a clash between the oppressed and those who do the oppressing. I believe that there will be a clash between those who want freedom, justice and equality for everyone and those who want to continue the system of exploitation. I believe that there will be that kind of clash but I don’t think it will be based on the color of the skin.”      -Malcolm X

Your Honor, years ago I recognized my kinship with all living beings, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on earth. I said then, and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it, and while there is a criminal element I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.   – Eugene Debs statement on being convicted of sedition for opposing WW1.  September 18, 1918

 

Man to Man about you know who……

To know, know, know them is to have great and serious doubts about them.

You think I’m a beast?  … I know I am but what are you?

Women think you have to change chones every day………..Men don’t.                                                   GdL:  don’t think so or don’t change chones?  ever?  they wait til what?  when?

Women think that we should bathe at reasonable intervals, every day if possible.                    I thought they were suppose to like the way we smell?

They told him the pussy was free…but no, no, no, it ain’t.  you gots to pay through the nozz.             -a man who just learned about one of  life’s b-tragedies

Life’s a B or lack thereof and then you die.   exactly what is this punishment for?

Sure as vaca-sow shit…you’re a future pussy Hall of Famer.

A vaca-sow- clown will never open a door for you and will never close it properly behind her.                  -lessons in vaca-sow-clown husbandry?  is that the right word?

my friend? …the sick man of the neighborhood.  Almost a registered pervert.

B to Humphrey Bogart:  you’re (speaking) too fast.                                                                        Bogie:  What do you want me to do?  Learn to stutter.      –the Maltese Falcon

The personal is political.  Everything is personal.

The only person you’ll scare away is your future ex-husband.

The idea that you could possibly be happy without them makes them cringe.  They don’t like to have their game called for the bluff it happens to be.  They want us to continue thinking that we need them.

? the bitches are disappointing you, my man?  … you need to lower your expectations.

Don’t hang out with them, it only lowers your intelligence….oh….and makes your tongue hang out.

If butts were brains, women would be smarter than men.                                                                 GdL:  and perhaps they are…

Wouldn’t it be nice if women came with remote controls???

In his private heart no man respects himself.      -Mark Twain

Time to thin the herd….            –JJ on vacas

Get the cattle prod and gloves on…she’s back.

Hope springs eternal in a man’s breast when he’s after a woman’s ass.

Why do women fake orgasm?  They think we care.        -JJ

All I wanted was a hamburger…I didn’t want to buy the whole fucken vaca-cow!                                   -thanks to Mr. J.

Was it the bitches, my man?  had to be the bitches…   – bro who knows how to commiserate

Are you up for the down (stroke).

Don’t let your dick do your thinking for you.                                                                                             -under the category of it’s a muscle not an organ

A hard dick doesn’t solve all of life’s problems.                                                                                      -under the category of “are you sure?”

There ain’t nothing hard…and everything that starts out hard goes soft.                                            -better to hear it from a friend, a male friend.

No bitch can be my friend…I got enough trouble as it is.

Let no B write my epitaph.

What was that?  If the bitches had hooks, what would you do?  -Mr. SK’s question

If they’re the weaker sex, how come they have us by the balls?  How come, my man????

Nothing sadder than a man looking for some lost pussy he can’t find:  “I know I left it right here….fuck, did it grow legs and walk away.”                                                                               -a voice in the B wilderness (banned in the Ciudad)

She’s just too weird for me.                                                                                                                 -the monster puts a brutal, perhaps dishonest face-saver on rejection

Nature has given women so much power that the law very wisely has given them very little.     -Dr Johnson…exactly what was this old boy a “doctor” of?

A man may pass through a barrage of cannon fire with less damage to his character than through a squabble with a nagging wife.         –GB Shaw

 To marry a second time represents the triumph of hope over experience.   -Dr Johnson

A bitch with no teats might as well kill herself.       -Minnesota Fred

More than a mouthful’s just a waste.                        -Minnesota Fred

There’s an extradition order out for her nose:  get out of town and take your big nazz with you.                 -speaking of Celine Dion #1

Why does she carry two Canadian passports…one for herself and one her nose.                                                   -speaking of Celine Dion #2

There were four of us at the table/ me, you and your big feet.                                                           -Fats Waller Your Feets Too big

don’t give ’em your real name.    – advice from Fats Waller

Most of the time, we act weak.  That’s what the B’s want.                                                                        GdL:  sure…keep telling yourself “i’m not weak, i’m only acting..”

Nothin’ more fun than spending $.  Women take it to a higher level:  Nothing more fun than spending your money, honey.

Hey, every man that ain’t out is a closet fag.

Women are so sweet when they’re trying to hook a man.  Later, it’s “where’s the credit card?” and “Don’t u ever bathe??”   -GdL:  Oh yeah, you’ve never heard that before…

Sometimes, I’m passive…mostly I’m willful…and I like it like that.

You’re too young for me…I need an ohhhhhld lady…someone who’s slower than I am.                             -perhaps i am too old

A way too honest Man to some woman whose name he can hardly recall:  Chase you?  Why? would I chase you?  I was secretly (and not so secretly) happy to see you go…why would I chase you?

Ask Ms Metiche…you’ll always get the latest snitch.

What is left for the sun to do after you rise?   –Calderon de la Barca Life’s a Dream

I’m a man & very easily misled.   -Man to woman, stating the obvious and what she already knows only too well.

Baby, you don’t have to apologize to me for your gender.                                                                     -Is that the right thing to say?

The messiah will not come until there’s peace on earth.                                                         -GdL:  solves that mystery…that dude will never darken our doorway again.

 

 

   FAMOUS LAST WORDS?????

 

There he is.  You get him.

Let them eat cake.  –Marie Antoinette at beginning of 1789 French Revolution

Who told you that?

The check is in the mail.

Do nothin’ till you hear from me.    -Billie Holiday song

Please don’t talk about me when I’m gone.    –Billie Holiday song                                                       GdL: But we do, Billie.

That’s like giving cigarettes to lung cancer patients.    GdL:  ciggies are so sexy

Kill them all, god will easily recognize his own.    –Abbot Arnaud, 1209 AD

Kill them all.  Let Allah sort them out.

Eat the rich…who’s hungry?   -dicho common to Manson Family and Weathermen

You wanted Godzilla, you got Godzilla!!!    –just before the bombs went off

Here comes everybody.     –James Joyce, Finnegan’s Wake

Hi, I’m a Jehovah’s Witness.   GdL:  shoot first, ask questions later.

Bullets cannot kill me.   —Geronimo                                                                                                           GdL:  well, Mexican army bullets couldn’t kill him.

Work will set you free.          -Nazi slogan at entrance to Auschwitz

This is not art, this is a gob of spit in the face of art.                                                                              –Henry Miller Tropic of Cancer

Death: Kinda like a cosmic version of walk like an egyptian.

The one who dies with the most toys, wins.

 The passive aggressive shall inherit the earth…who the fuck else wants it??

 It’s okay … I’m with the government.

You never have enough money on a winner…and the odds are always good on the losers.               -Race track wisdom

 Reality is a selection.  We self select our realities at each moment.                                                           –after watching David Cronenberg’s existenz

 Plastic lasts forever.

Plastic may not last forever but it certainly lasts much longer than most of us would like.

 Just being there is the most important element of life.  The cosmos will do the rest.

Good things can only happen when you are at the right place at the right time.

  

 

AY, TU……LOS BUENOS DICHOS

 

Do not treat others in a way that you would not want to be treated.  This is the whole Torah…the rest is commentary.    –Hillel

The stone that the builder refused/ will always be the head corner stone.  -Bob Marley

Thank you lord for you made me sing.   -Bob Marley

Take away my pain and give me grace.   -Gospel Blues

Now the weak must get strong…oh, what a tribulation.   -Bob Marley

Let like cure like.    -Homeopathic credo

The scariest words in the world?  I might as well tell you now.                                                   -thanks to Charles Schultz

Be a fountain not a drain.  -Rex Hudler, California Angels baseball announcer

Whenever I raise my head and eyes, I feel as though I’ve gained 4 to 6 inches in height.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.   –sappy but probably true.

One does nothing and nothing is left  undone.  -Taoist dicho

Say nothing and nothing is left unsaid.

No self, No soul.     -Buddhist dicho

Beliefs won’t keep you warm on a cold night.   –Ram Dass.   True of many beliefs.

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.        -William Blake

The creation was an act of mercy.   -Wiliam Blake

One world is enough.  Don’t do me no more favors.  -G Santayana and GdL

Nature has neither kernel nor shell, she is everything at once.    -Goethe

Nature does not bestow virtue.

To be good is an art.   -Seneca

If the Sun & Moon should doubt….They’d immediately Go out.    – William Blake

Once you’re alive…There’s no way out but dying.   -Anne Tyler Searching for Caleb

Today is a good day to die.   –Crazy Horse at Little Big Horn

Sometimes, we need more help than we are willing to ask for.  /It is humility to accept our humanity…pride to reject it.           -Thomas Merton

The tree is known by its fruits.  If you want to understand the social and political history of modern men, study hell.   -Thomas Merton New Seeds of Contemplation

Understanding is the reward of faith.  Therefore do not seek to understand in order that you may believe, but make the act of faith in order that you may understand; for unless you make an act of faith you will not understand.    -St Augustine

Understanding is the explication of faith.   -Nicholas of Cusa

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe.                                                        -butchered St Augustine?

i’ve been to the edge of the cosmos…And only my body returned.

 The perfect is the enemy of the good.   -GdL: good thing to say after a betrayal.

One repays a teacher badly if one always remains a pupil only.   -F. Nietzsche

Become who you are.   -Nietzsche

Be yourself is the worst advice you can give to some people.   -Tom Masson

Even I don’t listen to myself.            -on good advice

Perfection is attainable…but only by successive approximations.                                                                -the Salami theory of perfection

You can’t always get what you want…but if you try sometime, you get what you need.                       -Rolling Stones song

You can’t always get what you want, but often we want what we can’t have.   often we get what we can’t possibly want.  How can we possibly want what we get…It’s not healthy.

The superstition of science scoffs at the superstition of faith.    -J.A. Froude

To stand on one leg and prove god’s existence is a very different thing from going down on one’s knees and thanking him.    -S Kierkegaard on holy fellatio or was it genuflecting?

We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another.   -J Swift

We are inclined to believe those we do not know because they have never deceived us.                -Samuel Johnson

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.    -Seneca

Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.                                                -Mahatma Ghandi

When asked about European civilization?  Mahatma Gandhi:  that would be a good idea.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.                               -Edmund Burke

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.    -Socrates

Stars, darkness, a lamp, a phantom, dew, a bubble/ a dream, a flash of lightning and a cloud/ thus should we look upon the world.   -Mahayana Buddhist dicho

…we are the stuff as dreams are made of, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.                       -Shakespeare The Tempest

 

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the sky is crying…Palestinian nurse Razan al-Najjar murdered June 1, 2018

Razan al-Najjar murderered by Israeli snipers 6 1 2018

On 14 May 1948, the day before the expiration of the British Mandate, David Ben-Gurion, the head of the Jewish Agency, declared “the establishment of a Jewish state in Eretz-Israel, to be known as the State of Israel.” (Wikipedia).

i was born later that same month…unfortunately, i’ve grown old and angry as the bodies of Palestinians piled up to the sky.  the sky is crying.  (phrase borrowed from blues song done by Stevie Ray Vaughn, Jimi Hendrix, others)

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Los Dichos del Mentiroso (@ section of the MalDichos and other MadDixos for a Troubled world)

been editing, re arranging, adding phrases that change character of some of these old dixos.  think…not 100% sure that these came from 2001 version  of the Maldichos and other Mad-Dixos for a Troubled World.   few prurient or sexploitative dixos are in this section though there are more than a handful that can be regarded as “politically incorrect” or culturally, gender insensitive  there is some overlap with other sections.  some favoritos i repeat.  i’m a bit tired of my admonition to NOT READ ON if you retain the capacity to be offended by verbal twists & turns.  these are “fiction”, perhaps nostalgia not biography…though if the shoe fits?  …i wear it.  what do you do, sir? or madam?

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here’s one of the only two jokes i know…

heard Gilbert Gottfried tell this joke but now can’t find the ytube video.  if i do, i’ll insert a link.  here’s my version:

Mr. M***  is in a rush to get home to his plush outskirts of NYC home.  there’s tons of traffic on the turnpike but he’s in a hurry, so he rushes off at an exit he thinks will get him to a shortcut he’s used before.

it turns out to be a two way frontage road.  there’s some cars goin’ too slow for him in front of him & he decides to pass them on the left.

crossing over just before a bend in the road…on the other side there’s an 18 wheel truck hauling timber barreling down the frontage road.  our man, Mr. M**** meets him head on going 50-60 miles.  his car is crushed like a tin can & knocked into a deep ravine.

15, 20 minutes later the fire department & ambulances arrive.  takes another 20 minutes to extricate him from the near unrecognizable car.  he’s rushed to a hospital.  another 20-30 minutes.  on the way, the crew is able to identify Mr. M**** and the hospital calls his wife.

she’s at home with her daughter.  the two of them rush to the hospital.  they arrive 90 minutes later.  they provide details on the husband.  insurance information.  they’re told to wait.  the husband is being treated in a high tech emergency care unit & the doctor will be out to see them as soon as he’s treated the husband.  they wait.

30 minutes.  they ask again.  are told to wait.

30 minutes later, a doctor in bloodied smock shambles down the hall.  smoking a cigarette.  they’re shocked…it’s a non smoking area.  he comes over to them with a smile on his face…they’re hopeful, relieved, not sure.

the doctors sees they’re the only ones in the hospital’s emergency care waiting room and goes directly to them while lighting another ciggie.  they hold their breath.  he asks if they’re related to Mr. M****.  they respond yes.  wife & daughter.

he breathes outs slowly.  cigarette smoke fills the waiting room corner they’re in.

I’m sorry.  Mr. M**** was in a real serious auto accident.  he’s suffered all kinds of trauma & injuries.  we can’t even begin to repair him.  the truck rolled him up like a human enchilada and shoved what was left of his car into 100 foot ravine.  his car careened down taking out trees & shrubs, smashing boulders…well… not a good thing.  i would like to spare you seein’ what was left of him…

in any case, the doctor continued, that’s not the most serious thing i have to tell you.  the cost of treatment, trauma care nowadays is huuuuuge.  it will ravage your savings and then come for whatever you own, home, cars, furnishings.  whatever equity you have in your home will go for multiple hospital surgeries, very expensive medications…pain killers, steroids, ant-biotics…shit, the list goes on for pages… physical therapy which is mainly goin’ through the motions.  he’ll never return to work.  may never recognize you or speak again.

forget about the relationship you’ve built up over the years.  and yet, your financial obligations will never end…they have a name for it.  medical bankruptcy.  if your daughter is in college…she can quit now.  daddy won’t be making next year’s tuition.  she’ll have to get a mediocre job in a government or some other dead end office to help pay daddy’s hospitalization bill.

oh, i know…you’re thinking but we have good health insurance….the doctor snorted and laughed… the 20% deductible will still eat up your savings & home.

you…nodding towards the wife…will have to quit your job…career? to take care of him at home.  a thankless, never ending & unpaid job.  that’s in addition to hiring caretakers to assist you…for the most part not paid by insurance.  and you won’t be eligible for assistance until you relinquish your assets.

you and your daughter …pausing as he looked them over with a studied glance… may even have to pimp yourselves out to make ends meet.   no telling what kind of nightmares you’ll encounter there.

your own health will suffer and by then your own health insurance will be a thing of the distant past.  no insurance company would give you a policy that w’d cover the costs of this and your own illnesses.  he might survive for a while …long enough to drag both of you down into a living hell.  the standard of living you’ve enjoyed up until now will be a bitter memory.

forget about your pets…you’ll hardly have enough to buy  meals for yourself or keep your single room apartment heated.  a short, bitter, withered life.

he lit another cigarette.  blew out smoke very slowly and watched their reaction.

by this time, the wife and daughter’s anguish has turned into loud sobbing & tears. oh, god they’re screaming.  but no one pays attention.

then smiling through the clenched cigarette…the bloody smocked doctor claps his hands…they’re startled by this.  he’s shaking his head left & right as if saying no, no, no.

then reaching out, he takes their hands in his and says I was only fucking with you…He’s dead.

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cada cabeza es un mundo                         — thanks to A & M

might be?  could be???  it’s all in your head.  where else could it possibly be?

Guess what?  The people that didn’t like me yesterday, like me less today.                                             -Progress or No?

could be a perception problem?  Whose?  Yours or mine?might be a gender problem…whose?  yours or mine?

is it a cultural problem?   an ethnico-cultural problem?

perhaps it’s a vaca-pata thing?

It could be a social disease … everything is… without a doubt.

I don’t think it’s physico-biological…so it must a be mental.

Why would I be a Boston (Red Sox) fan?                                                                                      What am I?   insane? crazeeeee?  What am I?  an idiot?  What am I?  stupid?  am i a sicko?  a drunkard?  a psychopath?  a lazeeeeee ass FBI agent?  (reference to Boston Marathon backpack of nails.  The FBI had interviewed the dead terrorist 20 times, then forgot the spelling of his name?  sure.  yeah.  i believe ’em.  way to go.)   –  not a BRSox fan dixo

Will all the members of the I wasn’t there club please rise.   -Talking ’bout the September 11 mental paraplegics club.

I’m being a bum…it’s what I do best.    -And you’re very good at it. (dj to gdl 10.14.2001)

you don’t listen well.  do ya?  Look at the shit that’s happening to you now.  the shit you did before follows you ’round.  Blowing up the Buddha statues didn’t hurt or even bother the Buddhists…but you’re catching hell.                                                                                                    Gdl: Talkin’ Taliban or are you happy now?

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Are you the kind of guy…that even when you’re with a B, they feel neglected?

Is this the middle of nowhere?  / Or / Do you prefer to call it the middle of everything.                  -GdL:  whew?  where am i?  and how did i get here?  who’s askin’?

Ain’t nothin’ you can do in a riot…except join in.

My needs are now so un-natural…no woman would put up with me.

It is better to keep quiet and have folks think you’re ignorant…Than to open your mouth and have folks know you’re ignorant.

Deja Vu…….all over again.   -Yogi Berra commenting on something eerily similar:

Everybody’s having them dreams
Everybody sees themselves walkin’ around with no one else
Half of the people can be part right all of the time
Some of the people can be all right part of the time
But all of the people can’t be all right all of the time
I think Abraham Lincoln said that
I’ll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours
I said that.      – Bob Dylan Talking WW3 Blues

We are limited in what we can do…but imagination is unlimited.  -Albert Einstein

Better to be lucky than good.  true in most games.

If you were on fire, I wouldn’t let my dog piss on you.

He’s his own worst enemy.   GdL:  Not while I’m around.

Be nice to them…don’t repeat anything I said.

You can never under/over estimate the rudeness of others.

The last Christian died on the cross.   -F Nietzsche

Rosie O’Donell sez OJ cut off the vaca pata’s teats.                                                                           GdL:  He was only taking back the parts he paid for.

I find places and things easier to manipulate than persons.  – talking mental magic

Unhappiness is the way of the world.                                                                                                        GdL:  recently corrected to “unsatisfactoriness” (Robert Wright:  Why Buddhism is                       true)  the world is never quite what you (we) hoped it would be.

If god lived on earth, people would break his windows.  -Yiddish dicho

Intelligent discontent is the mainspring of civilization.   -Eugene V. Debs

on the other hand, it’s impossible to have a “conversation” if you persist in interrupting me.

Civilization is a race between education and catastrophe.   -H.G. Wells

That woman/ she just gets uglier /and/ she gets meaner / but I got her, and  I guess that makes me the winner.  -Bobby Bare sings Shel Silverstein’s The Winner

Shakespeare can be understood on many different levels.  The dramatic level.  The philosophical level.  Shakespeare is one our great political writers and it is wonderful.  though he’s english, i think the world of him.

Ignorance has its value…it frees you from the anxiety of knowledge.  But usually you don’t get rewarded.

Is it too late to change my mind?  Is it too late to start the day over?  can we go back to yesteryear?  can i climb back in mama’s womb?

Callate o te mato.    GdL:  my mother’s most compelling admonition to an unruly child

Demons are men without souls.                                                                                                          GdL:  Does this make me a monster?  Guess, so.  Since my soul is not for sale…that must mean I have no soul. … If everything (?) is for sale at the right price.

Dime con quien andas y te digo quien eres.

I need some happy pills…do you know what I mean?

I’m learning to hide in plain sight.    -GdL: Good skill.

Isagi-Yoku.   Translation: To die leaving no regrets.  -Suzuki on Zen Buddhism

She said:  It’s so cold, I could see my breath.                                                                            GdL:  Isn’t that normal with you?

I didn’t know Vaca-Sow-Patas smelled like dead fish- that Gender Femme Gar-baaagh smell.             -Under the heading of Disingenuous

Most thinking humans are disappointed with humans…does that make them cynics? misanthropes?  simply bad men?

There’s a pattern here…at the very least an unhealthy inability to avoid problems.

Who called rock ‘n roll Niggerbilly?                                                                                                         GdL:  we needn’t wonder why?

Hail, hail rock and roll
Deliver me from the days of old
Long live rock and roll
The beat of the drums, loud and bold
Rock, rock, rock and roll
The feeling is there, body and soul…                                                                                                Rock ’n Roll is here to stay.             – Chuck Berry School Days

If the Boston Red Sox don’t make it…It’s been a good year in baseball.                                                     -the anti-Red Sox fan’s slogan

Who won the 2000-2004-08-12-16 presidential election? Gog, Magog or Ms Magog?  your favorite or theirs…and did it make a dime’s worth of difference?

Those who cast the votes decide nothing.  Those who count the votes decide everything.              -Joseph Djugashvili (Stalin)

All our good instincts/parts/feelings are reptilian.  -too much Carl Sagan and the triune brain

nice to know that cheap shots can last forever.

Vaca-sow clowns???  please don’t get me started.  I could talk about your herd forever.                    –thanks to D.

I’m one of those (?) people..almost impossible to fool.                                                            GdL:  Why?  I don’t even manage to fool myself most of the time.

Anger implies unreal hope.

Anger is inverted hope that others will change.  -Arthur Janov Primal Scream                                GdL:  Pues, lo imposible!

Talking them vaca-pata sow-clown blues.  Stop it.  You’re making me cry.

Convenient self interest…that’s what the world  is about.   The personal connects me to that world of desire for comfort.

Happiness???  Tell me again, what exactly is that about?  And why would you think existence was about your personal “happiness”.

A little off the shelf  voodoo doesn’t/can’t hurt.  then again…look what happened to those zombies over there.

A good excuse in life is worth a thousand reasons.

The hardest thing in life is probably not our job.  There are things a lot tougher, meaner, uglier, more degrading though some jobs are all of these.

Many things may be positive but you may simply not want to do them.

Scale every thought /action to what is doable.  Is that even a word?

I’ve been rich.  I’ve been poor.  Rich is better.    -Ivana Trump

I’m a super educated fool.  I got training and I know I can play the fool.  -fooled me.

Don’t go to war if all you really want is peace talks!!!!      -who knew?

There were four of us at the table…me, you and your two friends:  Nal and Gona.                          -thanks to Fats Waller Your feets too big                                                                                       GdL:  Sure, just when I thought all that footsie-stuff was a good thing.

I got nothing…and nothing’s good enough for me.                                                                          You got nothing…Is nothing good enough for you?

el Diablo making terrible sucking sounds.                                                                        Innocence:  What’s that sound?                                                                                                        El Diablo:  Since you really want to know…that’s the sound of your soul being sucked out of your breadbasket, brains, organs & limbs.

What have I told you about them?  Haven’t you learned by now?

How the fem-nazi’s hate those grand old concepts “mankind” and “human”.   They would substitute or raise to equal stature the terms “womankind” or “woman”.                                         GdL:  Might as well call ourselves vaca pata clowns.

If you let them, they will.

Items in the category of things you kind of thought you might not want to know and now you know why.   GdL:  Huh??

I’m one of those great socio-religious success stories you’ve heard so much about:  I use to be gay but now that I’ve been converted, no woman will have sex with me.                        GdL:  is that fair?

I’m like a light wave…I bend.

No glove, No love.  GdL:  why w’d a woman trust a man?  a smart woman will wear her own “glove”.

Sewer rat may taste like effen pumpkin pie/chicken but I’ll never effen know ‘cause I’ll never eat the filthy creature.   –Samuel Jackson character in Pulp Fiction

Just because I want to go to heaven doesn’t mean I want to go today.

Rules?!  Rules??  What the….?  Who the eff said anything about effen rules?  We don’t need no stinkin’ rules!!  Here!!!  Take this fucken 38 in the head…I don’t think it’s in the rules.  you’re right…I don’t know the effen rules, I guess…                                                                             -an “ignorant of the rules” rant

Finders keepers, Losers weepers.

Bobby D. had poor Pete Seeger cringing, crying in his car “Make’em stop…Make ‘em stop…”  -Dylan at Newport 1965  GdL:  In fact, the definition of “goin’ electric on their asses”.

Why bowling is so much fun?  It’s in the very old tradition dating back to prehistoric times:  throwing things at objects.  This goes back to the Paleolithic.  Think.  All the games we play involve throwing things with as much accuracy as possible:  baseball, football. basketball, archery…

Pointing to talcum powder on my black jeans:  I killed a white man and he leaked.

You can’t make $ from an ex customer.   -business dicho.                                                               GdL:  But does big Mac care?

Civil Disobedience???  Not anymore, those are now considered felonies.

Walden as modern dystopia.

Is there a difference between honesty and misogyny?   GdL:  No!  I don’t think so.

Is misogyny the same thing as honesty?   GdL:  Yes…only better.

Children are terrorist… their victims are parents.

Parenthood is volunteer slavery and the slave masters are these infant terrorists

Parenthood is volunteer slavery and you people  are always trying convince the rest of us what a wonderful experience your slavery is.                                                                                              GdL:  pointing fingers at you know who?

Retro Active Abortion………..hmmmmm…why didn’t i think of that?

What’re you doing, my man?  Gdl:  Just watching the fat vaca-pata parade.

Come vaca-pata with me…we’ll trip the fat fantastic.

What were once vices are now deeply ingrained habits.                                                                 GdL:  only way to learn:  try, try again…

Is a god a three letter word for love?  Is love a four letter word for god?                                          -Duke Ellington

Easter’s on me…I got hammer and nails.

The human capacity to slaughter each other/ one another seems undiminished by the labels crime, atrocity, genocide, sin.

I’m no longer surprised (?) that men slaughter their spousal vaca-patas.  Gender-wise that’s evening up the odds / making fatburgers, / leveling the playing field so to speak.          GdL:  As Soupy Sales used to say on TV “Is anybody hongree?

On the Iranian mullahs making Bah’ai martyrs:  You and I are still down here, scuffling and suffering…and they’re in heaven.  Seated right next to God.                                                       GdL:   Sure.  9.11.2001  Visiting the Bah’ai Temple in Chicago with Mr. K.

It’s a private belief I don’t share.

If there were an Anti-christ I would be very disappointed if it wasn’t me.                                           -thanks to Nietzsche

Henry Miller in an interview on Pacifica says:  The secret of long life, longevity is to smoke a bowl of opium every morning.                                                                                       GdL:  Henry, Henry?  where the eff are we going to get a steady supply of opium?

Maybe to do dirty things you have to get down with the dirty people.

Maybe the equation has changed:  If you are dirty, you do dirty things.

The sanctuary becomes/ is (also) a trap.   -talking Palestinian Bantustan?  DACA                                 – thanx to the ZOG

I’m having a bin laden kind of day.  GdL:  Is there any other kind.  GdL #2:   Where’s that other bin.

I don’t want to start lying to myself…that would be bad.  I can lie to most other people but mustn’t lie to myself…I wouldn’t be able to believe anything I said.

I’m the anti-cow tow.            -Another anti-mad vaca-cow-clown dicho.

I’m being used as a cultural-patriot-aural pin cushion by every amateur cheerleader vaca-cow clown who knows the words to various patriotico-chaunivisto slave anthems… and they all wanna be Mariah Carey /Britney Spears or some other pre to post pubescent mid riff showing vaca/sow/pata clown loud mouth.

In the Kingdom of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

In the Kingdom of the B’s, the blind one eyed little he man is king…sort of.                                  GdL:  Where does divine right enter the equation?

Why do they call it a “godhead”?   GdL:  to mock us.

You know me?…I hate to give credit where credit is due.

What’s happenin’?                                                                                                                                  GdL:  The only really correct answer is “everything at once and all over the place.  What else could possibly be happenin?”

They say that smoking kills…I say not fast enough.   -DJ not for attribution.  So she sez.

I hope you know that this is a work of fiction???  Not the biography of a gender, baby.

If you catch up, you ain’t got a job.  No work?  Go home!                                                                     GdL:  my suggestion?  slow walk the pooch.  copulate the canine.  (railroad                                     terminology for working overtime)

Now that I know what kind of people you are…I don’t think I can leave these in your hands.              GdL:  What kind of awful responsibility are we talking about?

The Anarchist Theatre of the Blind is presenting de La Barca’s Life’s a Dream.                             Just try not to wake up.

Sharpen up your knives and forks so we can eat them alive.  Don’t even ask what’s for dinner?

I worked real hard to make it look like it wasn’t me.       GdL:  Yo no fui.

How was your weekend?   Nice and quiet…very unusual.

Life is always good when you’re in the right circles.   -Talking silver spoons

How can you be two places at once when you’re No one?  No where at all?   -thanks to the Firesign Theatre

Art is a lie that tells the truth.          -Picasso

War is good for business…invest your son.         -Anti Vietnam War dicho

All you gotta do…        -bad Advice often starts this way.

A friend will help you move.  A really good friend will help you move a body.

The fake terrorist weapon of choice?  Corn starch.        -Talking faux Anthrax

Lazy people have more time to do less.      GdL:  That’s nice.

All genders and incline-nations welcome.

Whiskey’s for drinkin’.  Water’s for fightin’ over.    -dicho of the West

The only rule ( I recognize) is there ain’t no rules.    -Boxing with Mona Rules  (Mona was DJ’s dog…smartest dog i’ve ever known)

Unless you’re an aficionado of stupidity, save your $.                                                                          GdL:  Mass “culture” wouldn’t exist without them aficionados.

Fantasy is much better than reality.                                                                                                            GdL:  we talking choking the puppy? or cinema?

You’re a lucky man…the B. only hurt you a little bit and then went on…only took a couple of body parts from ya.  Thank your lucky stars.

Lo bueno no existe.            GdL:  trying to correct a bad misconception

When in Spain do as the Arabs do.

But…he’s a hero… a legend…a myth…    GdL:  Yes…and what’s your point?  my man.

Trust God?  We are gods or haven’t you seen us lately?   -The Buffalo Gods speak

?of course?  I’m sure that’s how the Nazi’s all got started:  They all had mothers.

No self doubt here.  GdL:  Buddhist wisdom:  no self, no doubt.

Stealing enough pennies can make you a multi-millionaire penny pincher.  pinche da-vinci.

It doesn’t matter how low the bar gets set…some folks just can’t make it.                                   GdL:  is my tone compassionate enough for you?

I’m a zen-anarquista.

If you don’t know where I might be…tell them I’m dead.                                                                     GdL:  Scatter my ashes so I can cover lots of ground.

Todas las viejitas quieren ser jovencitas.

I’m having Vaca-Cow-Clown problems…call McDonald’s?                                                                      GdL:  nothing like the smell of burning vaca-pata with papas fritas & a coke.

That’s why God invented heart attacks.     GdL:  why i’d rather give ’em than have ’em.

B will run for miles to avoid two licks of work./ B will waste hours to avoid a moment of work. / That’s just the ways the B be & then talk shit about my poor hard pressed gender…what’s with that?

Excuses when they walk in on you and say:  We got photos of you and this B doing the pata Vaca-Loca.   No, no, no.   Must be some other long lost child.                                        GdL:  Tell them it must be some guy who kinda looks like you with his schlong hangin’                 out…besides in flagrante delito, we all look alike…give or take an inch or two.

Here I am trying to rehabilitate my image and you insist on bringing up my past misdeeds and crimes.                                                                                                                            GdL:  Is there’s no statute of limitations on savagery, blow-torching, torture?  On B-headings and cannibalism?  Besides I had an excuse:  I was hungry and hearts were on the menu.  btw?  are you hungry?  wanna taco de sesos?

I may not be too old physically but mentally I’m ancient.

If you were in a real rush, you would have left at lunch.

Com’on…let’s take a run at these armies of girl scouts and their effen cookies.

I’m goin’ to sell candy to raise $ for the perverse and vicious.                                                              – a bad man’s reaction to girl scouts cookies.

Only rest cures everything.   Gdl’s medico dicho.  For flu symptoms, benadryl’s okay…and then straight to bed.

Even heart aches?                                                                                                                              GdL:  No, No, No! the only way to cure a heartache is to cut some heart out and I know you people carry some sharp ass knives and know how to cut.

a truly eeeeevil person tells the truth as though it were a lie.                                                                     GdL:  one my favoritos and i will keep repeating it.

 

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What should be is a dirty lie!!!    

the right to say "fuck" is freedom of speech                                                                                                              what can i say?  i feel compelled to honor Lenny Bruce.  in June 1965 i graduated from Lane Tech & was headed to Loop City College that fall.  my mother, an immigrant single parent had very little resources & 6 kids to take care of.  we knew nothing about higher education.  that summer i had my first steady job & saw a copy of Lenny’s How to talk dirty & influence people and another of his comedy routines.  they were a revelation.  of course, by this point he was never on tv.  he passed away the following year at the age of 41.  perhaps the M-dixos are my way of following in his footsteps…though i never stepped on a comedy stage.  thank you Lenny.

my usual warning:  don’t continue to read if you’re offended by verbal humor.  i try not to censor these.  very few contain what folks call scatological or puerile elements.  they do reflect my own cynical, sarcastic bent of humor.

What should be is dirty lie!!!    –Lenny Bruce

a truly eeeevil person tells the truth as though it were a lie.

i thought she was dead…Why doesn’t anybody stay dead?

The balloon exploded like a small child’s head..and all the bad men laughed.

Little children should be beaten, then eaten.

Never be rude to anyone, unintentionally.   -Oscar Wilde

Pilate to Jesus and his doce disciples…also good for any group of young males in an auto:  I guess it wouldn’t do any GOOD to ask you guys:  WHERE ARE THE GIRLS???

N….ers in the hands of an angry White god.   –that old time religion.  Jonathan Edwards- puritan preacher man

Is the god of the slave trader/ slave owner/ slave patrol the same as the god of the slave?                      -brother Obama couldn’t run away fast enough…had to please massa.

No matter where you…there you are.  can’t get away from yourself.  it must be frightening.   –thanx to Severn Darden. been looking for his 2nd City Philosophy LP.

A belief may be a necessary condition of life and yet be false.  -FW Nietzche

Let’s re write Genesis, Why don’t we?   GdL:  Wouldn’t be the first time.

All the cops are criminals and all the gangster’s saints.                                                                  -Sympathy for the Devil (the Rolling Stones)

Either the devil spoke to me or it was a snake that just ate a cow who spoke to me.                          -Talking Fat Vaca Cow Clown love?

You catch more bears with honey than with vinegar.                                                                 GdL:  why would you want to catch a live effen bear?  oh, i’m sorry…you said flies…again, why the eff w’d you wanna catch flies?  it’s a metaphor?

Do you have children?  GdL:  Of course, I had them but I sold them.  To whom?                                  GdL:  somebody now worse off than me.

I’m not a real Mexican (you know) I’m in it for the grease.

Perhaps I’m not a real Mexican…I’m in it for the grease…perhaps that makes me a real Mexican?

Pendejo…pen-effen-dejo.   GdL:  conjugating idiocy

How do you tell the difference between a dead one and a live one?                                  -GdL:  Why would you want to waste your time?

Hide the women folk and children…STEVIE’s back!!!!

My friend, Mr. K… just wants to do despicable things to little innocents.                          -GdL:  Does that make him a bad man?

The experiments I want to do are all illegal.   (from El Colmao)                                                       -GdL:  I thought all was fair in love and war?

So what?   Lots of things are against the law…but they’re good.                                                         GdL:  Try ’em.  You’ll like ’em.

I may be mistaken but I think that in most ur-civilized places, the things you like are against the law.

To marry is the end of philosophy.  To marry badly would be the end of you.

I was thinking of holding the elevator for you but…I know you wouldn’t have done the same for me.             -GdL:  You know the vaca-clown-sows, my man, they don’t understand the concept of civility, reciprocity or doors.

You look like a fucken god, my man!  You look like a fucken god!                                                  GdL:  just a trick of my mirror.  great mirror.

That’s what I like about so and so, she sees the paraplegic going the wrong way and she laughs.

I have a problem with parking spaces set aside for the crips…  I thought they wanted access and acceptance….didn’t realize they meant privilege.

Let’s set up an unholy cabal…first, let’s trade identity cards/ identities.                                       -GdL:  getting serious about soul swapping

I swapped souls with a creature ancient and cold blooded.  What does that make me?            -GdL:  here (right here in my heart) there be monsters.

Connoisseurs of STD’s?  –talking romeo, giovanni, juan, lothario, lover-boys who keep score.

I live and suffer in the cult of the loud.  luckily, i’m half deaf on my right side…that only leaves the wrong side…que no?

That’s the way it is:  you start out your life and they lie to you…you end up your life and they lie about you.

I don’t care who’s been invited!  That’s not a party I want to go to.                                                GdL:  I’d rather be Bin Laden than “been invited”.  Does that make me a misanthrope           or just a bad Arab?

Do I contradict myself? / Very well, then I contradict myself. / I am large.  I contain multitudes.     -Walt Whitman Song of Myself

Nothing human is alien to me.  -Karl Marx

A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because magnificently spoken.   -St Augustine

A fool can tell the truth but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.                             -Samuel Butler

Sin has many tools but a lie is a handle that fits them all.   -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr

A big lie is more plausible than the truth.    -Ernest Hemingway

A liar needs a good memory.     -Quintilian

There is nothing so pathetic as a forgetful liar.   -FM Knowles

Out of little shit, BIG shit grows.

Pick ’em and flick ’em, my man…Don’t eat ’em.    -a booger admonition

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you shouldn’t pick your friends’ nose.

Did you say there was a bug on you?????

Bang, Bang Selena……number one with a bullet.

What’s a good time for a drive-by????  See you then.

Tell those little Hitlers, I am on my way with my friend, Major Attitude.  And they won’t like it.

Don’t underwhelm me with your demonstrations of adulation.                                                     -useful when the response is less than adequate.

If you’re willing to do the time,  (go ahead and) do the crime.

Them’s then, now is now.

All my heroes are outlaws.  Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson song

Money stays around a lot longer when you don’t have someone to spend it for you.

Yes,  the mice do run when el gato is around……that’s their nature.

You snooze, You lose.

You can’t always get what you want / but / if you try (sometimes) you get what you need.                 -Thanks to the Rolling Stones

She’s the perfect combination of ambition and ignorance under pressure.

I guess that kind of behavior passes for good manners where you’re from.

All men are born guilty and will never be proven innocent.                                                               -La Feminista Rabiosa’s version of original sin

 God sent the blight, but the British brought the famine.  -Irish dicho

 He who makes a beast of himself rids himself of the pain of being a man.                                Samuel Johnson per Hunter Thompson

Gender.. one of the lowest common denominators.  Beaten out for that distinction by humanity.

Some people are too stupid to live..But they live.                                                                 What is that about?  Survival of the weak and unfit!   -GdL in response to theories of intellectual evolution

Sometimes if you’re arrogant you must act humble.                                                                           Or   If you’re not humble, you should act humble.

Humility makes me laugh.      -GdL

Let me give you the short version of civilization:  NO!  What part of NO did you not understand?  and just to warn ya…civilization has ways to make you understand.

Be careful what you think.  They are listening.

and if my thought dreams could be seen…they’d probably put my head in a guillotine.                 – Bob Dylan, It’s all right, ma (i’m only bleeding)

Life?………..Just another crack deal gone bad.

The answer to almost any set of questions:  No.  No. And I’m glad you asked.

You can forget about going home for X-y-No Mas.  You won’t get nothing after I’m through tellin’ folks the things you’ve been saying about them.  I’ll think ’em up as I go along.

A married man with a family will do anything for money.  -Charles de Talleyrand

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they’re loaded or not.   -Franklin P. Jones

Reactionary concepts plus revolutionary emotion result in fascist mentality.                                           -Wilhelm Reich

If we had no faults we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others.                                   -Duc de La Rouchefoucauld

A man’s defects are the faults of his time while his virtues are his own.   -Goethe

Rare is the man who can weigh the faults of others without putting his thumb on the scales.    -Duc de La Rouchefoucauld

I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell… you see, I have friends in both places.     -Mark Twain

Friendship among women is only a suspension of hostilities.   -Comte de Rivarol

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.  -Chinese Dicho

Nine tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.                    -Horace Walpole

Some people have a large circle of friends while others have only friends they like.                  -Horace Walpole

One’s friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.                            -George Santayana

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart softer than your head.                                    -George Santayana

He’s a fine friend.  He stabs you in the front.     -Leonard Louis Levinson

If we were all given by magic the power to read each other’s thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships.  -Bertrand Russell

If we all said to people’s faces what we say behind one another’s backs, society would be impossible.     -Honore de Balzac

Against a foe I can defend myself…but god protect me from a blundering friend.                        -D’Arcy Thompson

He’s his own worst enemy.     GdL: Not while I’m around.

What were once vices are now habits.    -progress?

I need a new drug.

You must be on drugs!     -GdL: explains everything.

Reality….wow, for people who can’t handle drugs.

 Never trust a nation that doesn’t get high.

 Dope will get you through times of  no money..better than money will get you through times of no dope.   –the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers (Gilbert Shelton)

Art holds  a mirror to life…and if there are some lines of cocaine on that mirror, so much the better.     -PJ O’Rourke

Baseball is not violent enough?   Why is that?  They got the bats….

There are very few things I will do for money. / There are many things I will not do for money / though I may do some of these same things for pleasure.                                                          -GdL on $ and its value.

I hope you don’t think this is about money????

It’s not money I’m after, little girls.  –villain in 70’s B-girl film Ginger

Don’t be nice to them…They’ll only  be disappointed when they meet me.

Free your ass and your mind will follow.   –George Clinton

When elbows speak, I’ll have a lot to say.

(5 29 2018…1101am)

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Did the Buddha Say? (with answers)

this section is not (i thinks) as offensive, crude as my other MDixos but probably sacrilegious to Buddhist and most others.  these are culled from various dubious english translations.   i’m not a dedicated buddhist…not of any of the cultures to which Buddhism can be said to be indigenous.  these were collected before 2001.  recently, my interest in buddhism has “deepened” and i’ve read various modern takes on it.  my sense is that we in the west (as in other cultures) will re make the buddha in our image, to fit our needs.  having said this…i collect the MalDichos for fun.  add’l note:  i’ll probably be adding dixos to this section.  buddhist & non-buddhist.

 

he who formerly was reckless and afterward became sober / brightens up this world / like the moon when freed from clouds.  / he whose evil deeds are covered by good deeds brightens up this world/ like the moon when freed from clouds.    –Buddha                              GdL: there’s hope for the hopeless sinner.

Well makers lead the water wherever they like, / fletchers bend the arrow, / carpenters bend a log of wood, / wise people fashion themselves.   —Buddha

Desire causes suffering.    –Buddha

and there’s never an end to desire.   –GdL

Understanding is not the same thing as not suffering.    –GdL

I feel just like Buddha’s son…that ain’t good.    -GdL

Make your own mistakes and you’re happy. / Make someone else’s mistakes (i.e. take their advice) and you’re un-happy.    –GdL

culled from NM Taleb’s skin in the game

those who talk should do and only those that do should talk.   – Sextus Empiricus against the professors

Avoid taking advice from someone who gives advice for a living, unless their is a penalty for their advice.      – Nassim M. Taleb

If a builder builds a house and the house collapses and causes the death of the owner of the house–the builder shall be put to death.   – Hammurabi

Do not do unto others what you would not have them do to you…What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow–this is the whole Torah, the rest is explanation…go and learn.                           -Hillel

Do nothing to others which if done to you would cause you pain.  this is the essence of morality.     – Leviticus 19:18

*******************

The more money you got, the more trouble you can buy.   –True but not the Buddha

To have enough is good luck, / to have more than enough is harmful. / This is true of all things but especially of money.   –Taoist dicho

Whatever I do has to be something I don’t have to lie about.   –an honest though perhaps a lazy man

All created things perish. / He who knows and sees this is at peace in a world of pain.                  –the Buddha

Do not follow the evil law! / Do not live on in thoughtlessness! / Do not follow the false doctrine! / Be not a friend of the world. / Follow the law of virtue. / The virtuous rest in bliss in this world and the next. / Follow the law of virtue. / Do not follow that of sin. / The virtuous rest in bliss in this world and in the next.     –-the Buddha

Be in the world/ not of the world.      –Yeshua (my translation…false?  true?)

look upon the world as you would on a bubble, / look upon it as on a mirage. / the king of death does not see him who thus looks down upon the world.   –the Buddha

Come.  / Look at this world / glittering like a royal chariot. / The foolish are immersed in it but the wise are not attached to it.   —Buddha

do not have evil doers for friends. / do not have blameworthy people for friends.  / have virtuous people for friends.  / have for friends the best of men.     –the Buddha

By one’s self, the evil is done. / By one’s self, one suffers. / By one’s self, evil is left undone. / By one’s self, one is purified. / The pure and impure stand and fall by themselves.  /  No one can purify another.    –Buddha

Beware of the anger of the tongue and control your tongue. / Leave the sins of the tongue and practice virtue with your tongue. / Beware the anger of the mind and control your mind. / Leave the sins of the mind and practice virtue with your mind.    –-Buddha

 Silence is golden.          -true but not the Buddha

Wordless is often better than words.    –true but not the Buddha

Stop talking. / Stop thinking and there is nothing you will not understand.                                       -from Buddhist poem

If you can’t say nothin’ nice, / please don’t talk at all / that’s my advice.                                        –Billie Holiday song

We are not (individually) intelligence but manifestations of intelligence.                                  –Aurobindo

a lesser intelligence cannot understand a greater intelligence.  – Aurobindo

Prepare for the worst.  Hope for the best.      -useful advice but not the Buddha

It’s better to live alone.  There is no companionship with a fool.   –Buddha

Do nothing

and

nothing

is left undone.               -my favorite Taoist Dixo

Well, you needn’t.                -Thelonious Sphere Monk

Less is best and none is best of all.        -counting down and dirty

I am dealing a world of desire….a very dangerous game to play…place your bets!                         -GdL

I don’t care what they say, I won’t stay in a world without love.   -Peter & Gordon song

Now that everyone goes there, no one goes there.          -Yogi Berra

it’s deja vu all over again.   -Yogi Berra

i go to other people’s funerals, so they’ll go to mine.   -Yogi Berra

How can I miss you, when you won’t go away?          -American dicho

Happy is he who pees wherever he pleases.    – certainly a Dog’s definition of happiness

There cannot be a God because if there were one, I would not believe that I was not he.                   -F Nietzsche

There cannot be a god because if there were, I would be very disappointed if I were not her.       -GdL

His disciples said to him, “when will the kingdom come?”  and Jesus said: “It will not come by expectation, they will not say ‘see here’ or ‘see there’.  but the kingdom of the father is spread upon the earth and men do not see it.”     -Gospel of Thomas

for behold the kingdom of god is within you.      -Gospel of Luke

Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.                                                -Mignon McLaughlin

Sleep is lovely, / death is better still, / not to have been born is of course the miracle.                        -Heinrich Heine

We should weep for men at their births not at their deaths.    -Baron de Montesquieu

A man’s dying is more the survivor’s affair than his own.   -Thomas Mann

It’s not your world. You’re just decoration.   -a rather harsh truth.

Your in our world…get out.  -all other entities to man

Theology is not made by mystics.  Mystics are formed by theology.                                                         -bs from one of my favoritos, Thomas Merton

 Faith in a holy cause is to a considerable extent a substitute for the lost faith in ourselves.      -Eric Hoffer The True Beleiver

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.        -Francis Bacon

If the work of god could be comprehended by reason, it would be no longer wonderful,and faith would have no merit if reason provided proof.   -Pope Gregory I

Understanding is the reward of faith. / Therefore seek not to understand that thou may believe but believe that thou may understand.   -St Augustine

If the existence of god could be proven…what would be the value of faith.                                       -Joseph Campbell

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive.                                                 -nursery rhyme morality

Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and tortuous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness with which most of the bible is filled, it would be more consistent to call it the word of the demon than the word of god.  It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind.  -Thomas Paine

Are you not frightened to see that perverts and serial killers are more attractive to us than the apostles?     -thanks to Ralph Waldo Emerson

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height….it seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.      -F Kafka

Why do evil things happen to good people?    Satanas:  Because.

Why do good things happen to evil people?   -Life is funny that way.

 

 

 

Yes the Buddha Did Say that…

 

The perfect way is only difficult for those who pick and choose.

Make a hairsbreadth of difference and heaven and earth are set apart.

The struggle between for and against is the mind’s worst disease.

Stop all movement in order to get rest, and rest itself will be restless.

Linger over either extreme and oneness is forever lost.

The more you talk about it, / more you think about it, the further from it you go. / Stop talking, / Stop thinking and there is nothing you will not understand.

There is no need to seek truth, / only stop having views.

Do not accept either position, examine it or pursue it.

Though the two exist because of the one, do not cling to the one.

The doer vanishes along with the deed. / The deed disappears when the doer is annihlated. / The deed has no function apart from the doer.

Only if we haggle over fine and coarse are we tempted to take sides.

Let things take their own course.

Know that the essence will neither go or stay.

Let your nature blend with the way and wander in it free from care.

Thoughts that are fettered turn from the truth

Not liking brings weariness of spirit.

If you want to follow the doctrine of the one, do not rage against the world of the senses.

Those who know most do least.

Folly forges its own shackles.

In the Dharma there are no separate dharmas.

Only the foolish cleave to their own preferences and attachments.

To use thought to devise thoughts???/ What is more misguided than this??????

All that belongs to the two (or more) extremes is inference falsely drawn.

 Ignorance creates rest and unrest.  / Wisdom neither loves nor hates.

Is and isn’t, / Gain and loss…/ banish once & for all!!!

Being is an aspect of non-being. / Non-being is an aspect of being.

The one is none other than the all./ The all is none other than the one.

I have spoken, but in in vain, / for what can words tell of things that have no yesterday, tomorrow or today???           –from Seng Ts’an’s Poem on Trust in the Heart…..from the book The Teachings of the Compassionate Buddha, EA Burtt, Mentor, 1955)

The evil doer mourns in this world, / and he mourns in the next. / He mourns in both. / He mourns and suffers when he sees the evil result of his own acts. / The evil doer suffers in this world and he suffers in the next. / He mourns and suffers when he sees the results of his own acts.

The virtuous man delights in this world, / and he delights in the next.  / He delights when he sees the purity of his own work.

Well makers lead the water wherever they like.  / Fletchers bend the arrow.  / Carpenters bend a log of wood. / Wise people fashion themselves. / As a fletcher makes straight his arrows, a wise man makes straight his trembling and unsteady thought / which is difficult to guard, difficult to hold back.

Few are there among men who arrive at the other shore. / The other people here run up and down the shore.

If one man conquer in battle a thousand times a thousand men / and if another conquer himself, he is the greatest of conquerors. / One’s own self conquered is better than all other people conquered. / Not even a god could change into defeat the victory of a man who has vanquished himself.              —the thousands

 Let the wise man guard his thoughts / for they are difficult to perceive / very subtle and they rush wherever they list/ thoughts well guarded bring happiness.

If a traveller does not meet with one who is his better or his equal/ let him firmly keep to his solitary journey.  / There is no companionship with a fool.

mejor solo que mal acompanado.   – mexican dixo

Him I call Brahman who utters true speech / instructive and free from harshness / so that he offends no one. / Him I call Brahman who is  tolerant among the intolerant / mild among the violent / and free from greed among the greedy.  / Him I call Brahman who without hurting any creatures / whether feeble or strong does not kill or cause slaughter.

 

 

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An anarcho-communist response to Le Blanc and other “Leninists”… and a kind word for Utopia

First, a series disclaimers.

not sure of the value of styling myself an “anarcho-communist”. i am not as widely read in the anarchist tradition as i ought to be and hope to be.

i claim that label on a “purely” technical basis.

to M-Leninist command party advocates, anyone who doesn’t advocate for a command party state is an “anarchist”.  for most M-L command party types that is the extent of their “wisdom” and “knowledge” of the non-command party communists.  anarchist share the vision of a an egalitarian society (“from each according to their ability…to each according to their need”) but are dismissed as “anti-scientific” and “utopian”.

i’ll take the “utopian” dismissal up in the final paragraphs of this note.

nor is this note a point by point refutation of Paul Le Blanc’s writings.  i am — justifiably or not – using this article as jumping off point for my thoughts regarding Lenin, Trotsky & Bolshevik role in the Russian Revolution of 1917 and their subsequent influence on the socialist movement of the 20th century and extending into the present century.

key concepts

from the reading of various articles by Le Blanc and fellow ISO member, Paul d’Amato and others in their tendency and many more by self identified Trotskysts & Communists of other tendencies, they seem to place their claim of distinction for and value of Leninism, the Communist International and Trotsky-ism on 1. an organizational norm called “democratic centralism” that may or may not have characterized the Bolshevik faction of the RSDLP, and 2. the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks.

the October Revolution is certainly one of the most dramatic event of the 1917 Russian Revolution but is it the sole or main criteria by which to judge the Russian Revolution? and did a “unique” form of organization contribute decisively to that seizure of power? and has it contributed to the achievement of “socialism”?

Le Blanc & d’Amato have written articles defending Bolshevik organizational practice. Within Leninist-Communist circles this is referred to as “democratic centralism”.

this organizational concept is very flexible. per its advocates, it can stretch from being very free-wheeling & democratic to top down marching orders (centralism).  this seems “flexible” enough to cover whatever it’s adherents may say about it.  perhaps too convenient.

in fact, democratic-centralist organizations allow for quite a bit of discussion in cell or branch meetings but decisions made at these levels of the organizations can be vetoed and re directed by organizational levels above the cell & branch meetings. differences of opinions not smoothed over at lower levels can rise through the organization and may ultimately be decided at a national committee meeting or convention. sometimes these higher level meetings result in reconciliation among factions or is the setting for a split among the members of the organization.

(above paragraph is from personal experiences with d-c communist parties & groups.)

these reconciliations may be genuine but in my experience and knowledge, they are rarely based on newly established principled political agreement on the issues debated.

the minority tendency or faction, may decide to submerge their differences until a more opportune time. members of the minority may recoil from a trajectory that w’d lead to a split with the “mother” organization, renounce their opposition & adhere to the majority. there are many social, peer group & opportunistic elements in the denouement of tendencies, factions.

one thing that Lenin’s Bolsheviks and modern communist parties/groups hold in common is that organizational and political positions are the rightful purview of leadership committees. these leadership committees (Central Committees or Executive Committees) oversee compliance and enforce decisions. these leadership bodies use their position, role in the organization to influence the outcome of discussions, debates, votes, personnel selection including expulsions in such a manner as to ensure their continued dominance.

these norms, dynamics do not make Leninist-Communist organizations different in kind from other organizations. the centralist element of this concept mimics the top down discipline of a military formation & indeed there is a great deal of military jargon utilized by the Leninistic Communists in their descriptions of parties & their role in revolutionary movements.

is democratic centralism a unique contribution to modern political thought?

according to Bolshevik-Communist adherents, a Leninist-democratic centralist style vanguard party made possible the Bolshevik seizure of power. these adherents usually style that seizure of power as “the” socialist revolution.

the seizure of power?

a major claim for the need for a vanguard Leninist style party is that without it the seizure of power by the working & toiling classes is impossible.

Really?

Le Blanc, D’Amato and many folks who style themselves as left critics of Stalin, especially Trotsky-ists make this claim despite the fact that many formations that were not Leninist Vanguard parties have defeated capitalist armies/governments & set up their own governments/ states.

these formations include (though are not limited to this list) workers militias and de-mobilized military units (Russia: February-October 1917), the Russian Red Army (eastern europe at the end of WW2), peasant guerrilla armies (China), mixed worker & peasant military formations (Cuba, Vietnam, Nicaragua), military coup d’etats (Afghanistan), electoral and popular organizations (Venezuela, Bolivia, Chile), popular front coalitions (South Africa).

some of these examples resulted in socialist governments though they were unable to transition to a socialist economy… none of these examples required what D’Amato or Le Blanc w’d recognize as a “healthy Leninist Vanguard party”.

yet, D’Amato, Le Blanc following in Trotsky’s train of thought and most adherents of Leninistic Vanguard parties claim that such a party is crucial.

the facts speak against this understanding. it is simply not true.

the seizure of power by any group is a military & tactical problem. it can be and has been solved in many ways.

the Russian Bolsheviks in 1917, solved it in the context of the defeat and disintegration of the Tsarist military in WWI, the worker’s control of most industries & peasant uprisings. this defeat and disintegration was itself in the context of a societal wide loss of confidence in the tsarist model of development that was closely tied to and dominated by western european interests. after the tsar abdicated in February 1917, peasant, worker and soldier assemblies developed into parallel political & administrative bodies. what Lenin called “dual power”.

by October, the Bolsheviks held the upper hand in the Soviets of workers, peasants & soldiers. the Kerensky government & the Kornilov rebellion were defeated by their lack of loyal forces. these forces were in the camp of the soviets now led by the Bolsheviks.

Lenin & the Bolsheviks saw their opportunity & struck. they were bold and flexible. Lenin suggested that the Bolsheviks take power directly. Trotsky and others suggested utilizing the Soviets. All power to the Soviets.

in this, my understanding is that the Russian anarchist movement bloc-ed with the Bolsheviks. they had the impression they w’d be a respected element within the soviets and w’d be able to continue their work in more local assemblies.

the military, tactical problem of defeating a bourgeois government and its military apparatus has been solved by many formations. few revolutions are led by Communist parties. none since the Russian Revolution have been led by “healthy” Communist parties according to the Trotsky-ists.

nonetheless these transfers of power occurred. subsequently, some of these new governments declared themselves socialist or communist.

given the right circumstances, context, relationship of forces, formations other than a healthy Communist party can lead the seizure of power.

the claim of necessity of a Leninist vanguard party organized along democratic centralism lines as crucial to the seizure of power by the working and toiling classes does not seem to hold up.

of what value then is this democratic centralist formation for the socialist transformation of society?  Russia 1917 and after…

if it is not necessary for the military defeat of the bourgeois government’s military what is its purpose?

Lenin and the Bolsheviks (including Trotsky) were honest about its purpose. to dominate the transition to socialism via a very long period of state capitalism. Lenin’s speeches & writings especially after October 1917 revealed his admiration for many western models of state capitalism.

Very quickly Lenin and the Bolsheviks moved to suppress the democratic features of the Russian Revolution— the factory committees, local soviets, participation of anarchist & other non-Bolshevik formations in political & economic decision making.

their model was centralized decision making in all aspects of society.  yes, Stalin carried this to a monstrous level but he and his cohorts were following the logic of Lenin & “democratic centralism” and most importantly, the needs of industrialization on a model of state capitalism.

but the democracy envisioned by the Russian toiling classes & championed by the Russian socialist movement prior to October 1917 was given short shrift.

there in fact was and always are differences of opinions, assessments, viewpoints that must be sorted out. even within inner circles. these are often worked out via discussion, trial and error. a “democratic” sorting out.

but sometimes these become hostile differences and are settled via suppression (anarchist newspapers in 1918), outlawing (factory committees in 1917-1918), military assault (Kronstadt in 1921), imprisonment or exile (as happened to Trotsky in 1927).

but for the vast number of Russians (and we can add other revolutions that have placed the command party communists in the central decision making role) the experience has been undemocratic with decision making usurped by an elite … and as anarchists and left oppositions within the Bolshevik party & later (too late) Trotsky critiqued, in the interest of the elite.

at times, the interest of the elite and the mass of the population overlapped… suppressing the various invasions by the european financed white armies, the German invasion (WW2), the hostility of western european and more traditional capitalist governments (the cold war).

the moment of “revolution”

something that has struck me since i started taking seriously the anarchist critique of the Bolsheviks & Leninist democratic centralist parties is that the Leninists place great importance on the October 1917 seizure of power. they describe this moment as “the” socialist revolution and most of their descriptions of “socialist revolution” end with the seizure of power by one formation or another.

it’s as though having reached that “moment” they want to distract us from what happened next.

they have very great difficulty in accepting that their model revolution led to the suppression of the working and toiling classes in Russia and many other countries where this model was “successful”.  they have great difficulty in explaining how we can have socialism without democracy.  how state capitalism is the road to socialism.  why their heroes (Lenin, Trotsky in this case) championed the suppression of formations outside the control of the Bolshevik central committee including the factory committees that sprang up after the February 1917 revolution to administer local affairs, the former worker-soldier soviets that made their military victory over the Kerensky government possible and finally, opposition tendencies within their own party.  so much for democracy.

to their credit, command party Communists, if pressed… especially by anarchist who are critiquing them from the left… they will admit that an immediate, near magical transition from capitalism to socialism is not possible. the command party communist party will have to guide a long transition period where the working class and toiling classes will have to follow …obey?.. direction from the vanguard party.  this direction will be imposed, if necessary, by prisons, execution squads, gulags, exile.. a long, difficult transition period of incalculable perhaps interminable length… judging from subsequent experience.

from each according to their ability… to each according to their needs.

these two phrases are the definition of socialism shared by socialists, Leninist-communist & anarchists. but Marxists & Lenin (who rightfully saw himself as a Marxist-Socialist) see this as something that will not characterize their workers’ state society until a long period of dominance by the vanguard party… which in turn is dominated by it’s central committee.

during this long period, working class empowerment and democracy are necessarily suppressed in favor of central authority autocracy.

my impression is that hasn’t worked very well for us.

though not a traditional anarchist, i w’d recommend Martin Buber’s review of anarchism in his book entitled Paths in Utopia. he includes a chapter on the Lenin and the Russian Revolution. he is not unsympathetic to the Lenin & the Bolsheviks but critiques them for making a virtue of necessity and working against the preparation & nurturing of the working & toiling classes for autonomous self rule as opposed to centralized decision making.

how can this be done? are there any guarantees for democratic, self governance?

the short & cryptic answers are: we’re not sure it can be done and no there are no guarantees for democratic self governance.

however, those of us, who feel uneasy with the Leninist vanguard party model for a socialism that never seems to come close to being realized, we have to participate in the mass movements for justice, equality, empowerment… and, yes, be active in organizations that are integral to those movements… where and when possible, we need to identify or set up and defend models for a future socialist society in the present. though we must caution ourselves and others that these models are possibilities and not yet anarcho-socialism.

most importantly, we must advocate for self government as opposed to centralized authoritative government.

and, unfortunately, we have to critique the “vanguard” party adherents because we’ve seen where their path leads.

one last thought…We’re all Utopians

perhaps we may never reach the ideal of “from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs” but that ought to be …i think… our ultimate goal.  such  goals …egalitarianism, fair distribution of wealth, caring for the weaker ones among us, equality, self governance may be utopian but …i would offer… nonetheless desirable.

nearly all traditions of thought have a utopian element…the “promise land” though yet to be attained & perhaps unattainable is nonetheless desirable.  the Jewish, Xian, Muslim heaven.  the Buddhist Nirvana.  all may be illusions but nonetheless something their adherents never give up hope for.

i know that many communists, anarchists do not like being called utopians but in fact… ? …well, at least in thoughts and hopes, we are utopians.

(edited and published for first time 5.24.2018 though begun and neglected since Dec 2014…i thinks)

 

 

 

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Sick Puppy Love Talk, the Bad, Bad, Really Bad B section of the Maldichos & 50 or 60 things you should never ever call the Vaca-Cow Clowns

SICK PUPPY LOVE TALK

i must admit some of the stuff in these next sections make me cringe.  much of it is sexist, misogynistic, some perverse, not of great interest to me nowadays…i’m near 70 years old… but i don’t want to censor my  younger self or pretend that i am always politically advanced and high minded.  NO…humor is not meant to be edifying or constructive.  the Maldichos are meant to raise a smile though not many are real jokes nor do they have to be pleasant and light.  i don’t mind dark, sarcastic, offensive humor…if this will offend you, PLEASE STOP READING.

The TROUBLE with LUST is that it quickly degenerates into relationships.

If you are single (separated, divorced, widowed, celibate, dead) right now, consider the thought that 100% of your significant relationships have failed. What are the odds on the next one succeeding???

Ni los pedos les dan.    -just trying to catch a whiff of love is difficult.

Mas bonita que mandada hacer.     -Try never to say this to a woman.  It would only go to her head.

The world’s a mess, it’s in my hiss.   -thank to Exene and John Doe (X)

Homicidal maniacs make strange bedfellows.   -Hannibal in love

Are are you kidding?  Anything that may happen outside his erogenous zones…he don’t know about it.      -speaking of a single minded friend (Steve K)

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,never make a pretty woman your wife.         -early 1960’s R& B song

What will people do for fun if they can’t hurt each other???

Don’t bother about the screams…..It just my way of having fun.

Is that a yelp of pain? or Are you just happy to see me?  –the sadist’s greeting

Is that a gun in your pocket  or Are you just happy to see me?    –Mae West

A good man is hard to find.  A hard man is good to find.   –Mae West

When women go wrong, men go right after them.   -Mae West

I used to be snow white but I drifted.    -Mae West                                                                                      GdL:   one of the best of her gender…actually, any gender.

My goodness, where did you get those diamonds?   Mae West: Goodness had nothing to do with it.

High heels were invented by a woman who’d been kissed on the forehead.                                        -Christopher Morley

The rule is there ain’t no rules.   GdL:  is this about love or sex?

He was fine, fine, fine…even dead he was fine

Even dirty old men need LOOOOOOOVE.

Ugleeeeeeeeeee love is better than nooooooo love.

Love is the drug.         -thanks to Bryan Ferry

Love is just a four letter word.         –Bob Dylan song title

It’s ominous when your friend ask you to meet her on the Jerry Springer show.

If  love is a crime…Let’s be the outlaws of love.    -thanks to 1950’s Rhythm and Blues song

Women—I love them all.   I’m just glad I don’t have to touch them all.

What does it mean when a woman says the only way she’d get pregnant is if her husband peed in the bath water?

Sometimes a woman means no when she says yes.  Hard to tell.  Sometimes a woman doesn’t have to say no to mean no.

Don’t trust b’s who say yes when they mean no.

Satisfaction of any kind is mostly self induced.

There is no company with a fool.  — Buddhist dicho

Mejor solo, que mal acompanada.   -Mexican dicho cited often by my mother

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.   -Alexander Pope & Elvis Presley song

Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you.    -Joey Adams

If you followed my advice, you would never ever score.    -Lenny Bruce’s Never no score Guide

You can’t be first …. but you can be next.   –one non-virgin to another

It is illegal in England to state in print that a wife can and should derive sexual pleasure from intercourse.    -Bertrand Russell

It really hurts when the only dates you ever get are with the women of the Never No Nookie Club.   thanks to Stephen K

We can still be friends, just don’t repeat anything I say.

Don’t be nice to them…so they won’t be disappointed when they meet me.

Honest, it crawled into my hand.   -Frank Zappa on chokin the chicken

What does it mean to “get shot down”?    -GdL:  Psychic bullets slam into your brain, my man.

B: but we had such a good time???  Male: but that was yesterday.                                                GdL:  The true answer to why haven’t you called me ?

If you wanna live a long happy life….stay out of  women’s fights.                                                  GdL:  Especially true if she’s a loud mouth peleonera

Different strokes for different folks.

It is easier and more fun to give pain than to receive.

I want you to think about your future….forget about your old time used to be.                                    -Ernie Andrews, R&B singer

When that bad, bad b left, I said: Thank you, Jesus…I’ll be good next time.  Yeah, next time.

Can I be temporarily  in love????     GdL:  Yes, my man, that’s called  lust.

My tongue hangs out…is that the same thing as love?                                                                        GdL:  Close enough for sick puppy love.

You sick, lying muthafucka…    Gdl:  when nothing else comes to mind

If god had wanted men to find their one true love,he would not have made our genitalia one size fits all.   –version #3

Have you ever wondered why god made male and female genitalia so that one size pretty much fits all.    -version #2

If god really wanted us to find our one true love, wouldn=t he have made genitalia like a jigsaw puzzle.    –version #1

If I go, there will be trouble.  /  If I stay, it will be double.   –The Clash

 Gonna market an X-Y-No-Mas Ornament:                                                                                                1st X-mas without you…and I’ve never been happier.

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.    -Voltaire

The most popular labor saving device today is still a husband with money.    -Joey Adams

A husband is what is left of a man after the nerve is extracted.    -Helen Rowland

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.                                    -Helen Rowlands (50’s humor)

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.   -Agatha Christie

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.    -Robert Frost

If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t marry.    -Anton Chekhov

 So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three.                          -Alexander Dumas

Informing someone about the clap is not instruction to get it.   -Lenny Bruce

I conceived at least one great love in my life, of which I was always the object.                                   -Albert Camus

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.    -Oscar Wilde                                     GdL:  Other than perception, what else is there?

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.    -Oscar Wilde

Faults are thick where love is thin.    -James Howell                                                                             Gdl:  Are faults thin where love is thick?

Be to her virtues very kind/  be to her faults a little blind.   -Mathew Price

Q:  Don’t you like “love”?    A:  Of course, I do…but I also like donuts, pan dulce, chocolate ice cream,  fats, alcoholic liquors, marijuana, hashish, darvon, morphine, heroin, uppers, downers, amphetamine, valium and/ with mayonnaise, movies, television movies…that doesn’t mean they’re good for me…do it?

You know the rule:  Good on paper, bad in bed.    -tv show Sex and the City

 He’s bi sexual…he likes men and boys.    -thanks to Saturday Night Fever

This isn’t what you think it is.   Gdl:  man caught en flagrante delito or a philosopher?

One problem/difficulty (among many, I admit) with marriage (that can be avoided only by not marrying) is that sure as shit, one morning you wake up to find you’ve been sleeping next to some old, old woman.                                                                                              GdL:  Yes, my man…that withered teat creature is your wife.  then again…by that time in life you have history & companionship…i hopes.

Two little Hitlers will fight it out/ till one little Hitler does the other one’s will.                                    -Elvis Costello

TLC….what’s that?  Taste like chicken.   -speaking of iguana or was that a Chihuahua?

 Pound for pound, a bargain.   GdL:  Is that good?  When speaking of what?

 The oldest pick up line in the world :  Pssst…little girl …want an apple?

 The B has a thousand eyes…some hairier than others.                                                                             GdL:  Be careful where you let them touch you.

 

Warning:  crude, vulgar dichos ahead.  Vulgar entreaties?  Gdl:  oh, i don’t know.  Vulgar is kind of harsh…nevertheless Don’t read if you retain the capacity to be offended…if you’ve read this far, what are the odds of that?  

 

Ooooo…. mamacita sit on my caracita.

Wanna share a bottle of wine?  Wanna sit on a bottle of wine?

She has more boyfriends than you can shake a dick at.

Women—if you want p…, you got to go to one of them.  By definition, no man has p….  -Gdl:  banned at La Ciudad & dated…nowadays sex-change surgery can work wonders.

Why go out for milk when you have a vaca-cow clown at home?    -thanks to Al / Married with Children tv show

A woman with no teats might as well kill herself.

More than mouthful’s just a waste.   GdL:  Speaking of shapely globs of fatty tissue and nipples

A big ass on a woman may not be enough for love…but by definition it’s usually enough for two handfuls.

If I ever fall in love with a little Filipino boy, I’d want him to look just like you.   -talking Michael Jackson specials

Response to friends who think you may be lonely without “someone” (exactly who the fuck is that suppose to be) :  Hey, I went to a lot of effen trouble to be alone!”

Euphemisms for doing the two-hump dragon with the fat vaca patas:

Harpooning the whale.

Fast walkin’ the cow.

Cattle prodding the vaca patas.

Makin’ fat burgers.

Did you keep score at your little gay-confab?

I don’t mind tying a b. up…I just don’t want the b. thinkin’ she can tie me down.                          -GdL:  I always lie about my sex life.  Don’t you?

 

B-Section of the Mal-Dichos

or

The BAD, BAD, really BAD B dichos.

 

Why can’t a woman be more like a man??????   -Professor Higgins in My Fair Lady

There is no situation so terrible that a woman can’t make worse.

Don’t believe anything that a B has to say about anything, my man.  That’s rule number one.

A B’s philosophy?  What’s mine is mine.  What’s yours is mine.

My philosophy:  today’s vaca is tomorrow’s chile con carne.                                                                      Gdl on a bad b day.

What’s a B’s favorite game?  Getting her way.

Life’s a B…or lack thereof and then you die.   GdL:  What exactly is this punishment for?

Why do you think they call it B……havior????

It’s all written in their Book:  How the B’s killed God the father (i.e. man), have gotten away with it and are thriving.  Thank you very much.                                                                               GdL:  Ahh???   You haven’t read that one.  They won’t let you.

Why stay at home and B… miserable when I can go to work and B… paid for B…ing miserable???

Happiness is always gender based.

Let no B write my epitaph.

Anonymous was a woman????     Gdl:-just another B who wants credit for inventing compost heaps.

Inessa Armand: Sex is as necessary and natural as drinking a glass of water.                              Lenin: …but must we all drink out of the same glass????

What do 8 million abused women have in common???   They just wouldn’t listen.                   -JJ on relations between the sexes.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?  Nothing, she’s already been told twice.    -blame JJ

Man with mouth open will wait a long time for roast duck to fall in.  –JJ on hope

Men are like dogs…Feed one, and, you’re stuck with them forever.    –DJ

That’s the way it is with the B’s:  They can’t stand it when we’re happy without them.

Another name for Men without women?  Utopia

When have you seen a married man with enough $$$???  A married man (by definition) never has enough $$$.   GdL: that’s a never ending story which I won’t get into just yet.

She is among the best of her gender…. That’s like the old Testament saying Noah was the best of his generation.

I will have nought to do with a creature that blows hot and cold at the same time.                              -thanks to Aesop

If you won’t be my number one, then number 2 on you.    –Roger Miller song title

There is but an hour a day between a good housewife and a bad one.   -English dicho                     GdL:  Who says they don’t have a sense of humor?

Parenting is too important to be left to parents.     -Is this about that commie boy, Elian?

You can’t trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn’t die.  One of the mysteries of life.  –Thanks to JJ

If the Dodgers played like Dykes, everyone would be scared of them.   -after LA Dodgers threw out kissing lesbians

 

 

50 or 60 Names you “should” never call the Vaca Cow Clowns though they are all true (honest)

(or)

50 or 60 little things to call a B

(or)

50 or 60 things you should not say to a B unless you want big-vaca-pata troubles

(sub-titled)

Guaranteed to cause you B problems

-Haganse  al lado, vacas.

-How now, vaca-sow.

-Ya ‘stufas, vacas.

-Vaca Clowns!!!!!  Time to wake up.  Time to strap on the vaca-clown make up.

-Anonymous?  Just another well known vaca clown

-They’re not quite humanoid, are they?     GdL:  More like Vaca Patas in Mumus.

-LOUD Vaca Patas

-Big, fat, fea, vaca-cow-sow-clown

-pinche, vieja wanga

-maldita bufala

-haste al lado, nalgona…queremos ver el mundo

-ya ‘stufas vaca weys

-fat mama cow dung crawling snake

-swata desgraciada    -Gdl:  have no idea what this means.

-late for lunch

-late for supper

-hamburger chompin’, potato chip crunchin’, coca-cola swilling vaca khan-ee-bal

-mula tuerta

-cow sow ………..definition: vaca body, pig headed

-woe-man

-wee-man

-douche bag

-dildo holster

-sick cunt of misery.    -thanks to John Irving’s Son of the Circus

-clit keeper

-twat head

And what’s your point, bitch??                                                                                                            GdL:  Good whenever you’re confused by one of them.  You need to make it plural if you’re talking to the herd.

What part of NO did you not understand??

Don”t say it.  We know it: I’m not fat, I’m pregnant.                                                                       GdL:  I want that t-shirt.

Don’t demonstrate, menstruate.   GdL:  Misogynist political advice to the herd.

Don’t talk too loud…you’ll start up a Vaca-Sow-Clown stampede.                                                          Gdl:  warning at panty hose sales and in the back rooms of mcdonalds and sizzler.

Who’s gonna pay for that???  Huh? Huh?                                                                                                 Gdl:  I don’t think the vaca-sow clown understood you, my man.

Not with my dog, you don’t!!!                                                                                                                Gdl:  I’m the protector of inter species morality.  Besides it would gross my dog out.

An all purpose B rationalization, used by Janet Reno when the feds slaughtered the folks at Waco, Texas:  I did it for the children!!!!                                                                               

A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

A bitch with no teats might as well kill herself.                                                                                GdL:  I don’t think there are enough bullets in my gun.

Are they real or are they memorex???      GdL:  Glazed over male gender minds want to know.

You know me….Yo no fui.    -gracias a Pedro Infante

Go ahead, if you think you’re man enough.                                                                                        GdL:  Sure to start a fistfight in a lesbo bar

B question: Who was your esclava yesterday?                                                                        Correct male response: Where the fuck were you?????

Farmer John’s dream.  Definition of a Vaca-Sow Clown.

Cut the chatter and pass the platter.   -dinner dates with the RV’s (Rubenesque Vacas)

They’’re just being their natural selves…naturally stupid.                                                         -GdL:  On tolerance towards the B’s

(revisited 10.18.2002)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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