Mal-Ethics and Eeeeevil Virtue
these don’t offend me but i’m not squeamish and i’m considered sarcastic, cynical, cold-hearted, sacrilegious. others may be offended…then again, what can one expect from a site calling itself Maldichos? this translates as the “evil-proverbs”…most folk stay safe with good proverbs or nice dixos. i find unalloyed “good” boring.
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao; The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth. The named is the mother of ten thousand things.- Lao Tzu, Tao Te-Ching
Everything good is bad for you.
I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it. -Will Rogers
My motto as I live and learn is to dig and be dug in return. -Langston Hughes
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before. -Mae West
It ain’t no sin to crack a few laws now and then. –Thanks to Mae West
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. –Samuel Goldwyn
She’s not so much ill tempered as ill mannered.
What were once vices are now habits.
What were once rumors are now lies on videotape.
You know that I don’t want to be a snitch, baby, but… GdL: Sure
All rumors and stereotypes are true. All that’s necessary is that we believe.
Reality is not what it is. –Wallace Stevens
What’s happening? GdL: Everything at once. What else could possibly be happening?
All cruelty springs from weakness. –Seneca
Let us train our minds to desire what the situation demands. –Seneca
The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to Christian moralists. That is why they invented hell. –Bertrand Russell
They’ve done “wrong” therefore, we must punish them. -GdL: Exactly, what kind of fucken logic is that? Who the fuck appointed you the world’s judge, jury and corrections officer? And who’s next?
Cruelty must be whitewashed by moral excuses and the pretense of reluctance. -GB Shaw
This may, no, this will hurt you more than it will hurt me. GdL: whose code is that, my man? The wealthy, powerful and cruel.
Humor is one of the few acceptable forms of cruelty. -GdL: But you make fun of the powerful, they will persecute you for it.
Divine morality is the absolute negation of human morality. -Mikhael Bakunin
Just because we’re surrounded by evil doesn’t mean we can’t make some money from it. -Peter Bergman, Far Side Theater
America is the best half-educated country in the world. -Nicholas M. Butler GdL: Perhaps its time to adjust that fraction.
Of course vouchers won’t work….people will send their children where they want. GdL: Yes and I thought that was the whole idea.of democracy…choice.
An egotist is a man who thinks that if he had not been born, people would have wondered why. -Dan Post
Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. -Frank Leahy
There’s only one thing that can keep growing without nourishment: the human ego. -Marshall Lumsden
First secure an independent income, then practice virtue. -Greek dicho
An ethical man is a Christian holding four aces. –Mark Twain
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. –HG Wells
Hypocrisy – prejudice with a halo. –Ambrose Bierce
Hypocrite, n. One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantages of seeming to be what he despises. –Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary
If it were not for intellectual snobs who pay, the arts would perish with their starving practitioners…let us thank heaven for hypocrisy. –Aldous Huxley
What is moral is what you feel good after. –Ernest Hemingway
Morality is the custom of one=s country and the current feeling of one’s peers. Cannibalism is moral in cannibal country. –Samuel Butler
A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing. –GB Shaw
When you prevent me from doing anything I want to do, that is persecution…but when I prevent you from doing anything you want to do, that=s law, order, morals. -GB Shaw
My only policy is to profess evil and do good. –GB Shaw
To err is human, but when the eraser wears out way ahead of the pencil, you’re way the fuck overdoing it, my pencil necked friend.
We were not fairly beaten, my lord. No Englishman is ever fairly beaten. -GB Shaw
We are the first race in the world, and the more of the world we inherit the better it is for the human race. -Cecil Rhodes
Action talks, bullshit walks.
Money talks, bullshit walks.
Put your money where your mouth is.
Put your money where your pussy is.
Put your money where your dick is. GdL: What is all that? Some kind of marriage proposal?
Best way to deal with sharks? Get the eff out of the water.
No call alligator big mouth until you pass him. -Jamaican dicho
Coward, noun: one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. -Ambrose Bierce
Coward: A man in whom the instinct for self preservation acts normally. -Sultana Zoraya
If god had wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs? -Marvin Kitman
I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member. –Groucho Marx
Where you end up in life depends on the map you’re given.
Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you.
I’m bristling with self awareness.
The problem with dogs is that they are not philosophers. The problem with man is that he is.
A self made man? Yes…and worships his creator. –William Cowper
FINE………. Fucked up, Insecure, Nervous, and Emotional.
SNAFU: situation normal, all fucked up.
She has a bad case of mental frenzy.
God said to Abraham: Kill me a son. / Abe said Whaaaaa…????? / You must be putting me on. / God said, YOU can do what you want Abe, but the/ next time you see me comin’ you better run…….Okay, where do you want this killing done? –Bob Dylan, Highway 61 Revisited
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. –nursery rhyme morality
Our repentance is not so much regret for the evil we have done as fear of its consequence. -Duc de La Rouchefoucauld
The word good has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot but not necessarily a good man. -G.K. Chesteron
Only a coward or a madman would give good for evil. -Euripides GdL: coward? Madman? Good? Evil? What kind of words are these?
Gluttony is not a secret vice. -Orson Welles
She ate a small bowl of corn. GdL: With mayonnaise, I hope. Mayonnaise makes everything taste good.
Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back. –Robert Quillen
I’m not going to starve to death just so I can live a little longer. –Irene Peter
Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. –Edward Abbey
Why is you the way you is? And not the way you ain’t?
Why do you do the things you do? and, Not the things you don’t do? —a question of moral anthro/psychology
Let each man be true to his desires. GdL: That=s what got the Marquis de Sade in so much trouble
Is want the same thing as need, desire, deserve?
The more humble a man is before god, the more he will be exalted. The more humble he is before other men, the more he will get rode roughshod . -Josh Billings
Any man can be El Papa…the proof of this is that I have become one. -Pope John XXIII
I grant you that he’s not two faced…but what’s the good of that when the one face he does have is so effen unpleasant. –thanks to C.P. Snow
One may smile and smile…and be a villain. –William Shakespeare
He blamed and protested but joined in the plan./ He shared in the plunder but pitied the man. –William Cowper
If you’re willing to do the time, go ahead and do the crime. -DJ on responsibility
When I sell liquor, it’s called bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it’s called hospitality. –Al Capone
I try not to fool myself that because I believe in something therefore it’s true.
I am an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going but I’m on my way. -Carl Sandburg
An idealist is one who noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage concludes that it will also make better soup. –HL Mencken
We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals and judge others by their deeds. -thanks to Harold Nicholson
A visionary is an impractical person whose thoughts are based on ideals in a world whose actions are based on deals. –Harold Nicholson
Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. -Aldous Huxley
There are well dressed foolish ideas just as there are well dressed fools. -Nicolas Chamfort
Most men can live without air for a few seconds, without water for a few days, without food for a few weeks and without ideas for ages. -thanks to J. Arthur Thomson
To die for an idea is to place a pretty high price upon conjecture. -Anatole France
You cannot defeat an idea with an army. –Thomas Paine
There is one thing more powerful than all the armies in the world: that is an idea whose time has come. –Victor Hugo
If ignorance is bliss there should be a lot of happy people. –Victor Cousin
Everybody is ignorant…only on different subjects. –Will Rogers
There’s nothing new under the sun but there are a lot of old things we know nothing about. -thanks to Ambrose Bierce
I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge because I have got so much of it. –Mark Twain
Nothing is so ignorant as the ignorance of uncertainty. –Aldous Huxley
Doubt is not a pleasant state but certainty is a ridiculous one. –Voltaire
No man can be a pure specialist without being in the strict sense an idiot. –GB Shaw
It’s innocence when it charms us…ignorance when it doesn’t. –Mignon McLaughlin
An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. -Dwight Eisenhower
If an animal does something, we call it instinct. When we do the same thing for the same reasons, we call it intelligence. –Will Cuppy
It would only take one generation of forgetfulness to put us back intellectually several thousand years. –GdL: huh? i forgot…what was the question?
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same god who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use. –Galileo
Intelligent discontent is the mainspring of civilization. –Eugene Debs
Wise men learn more from fools than fools learn from wise men. –Cato
I never met a man so ignorant that I couldn’t learn something from him. –Galileo
A wise man learns more from a fool than a fool learns from a wise man. -Buddha dicho
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. –William McAdoo
Your ignorance cramps my conversation. -Anthony Hope
Ignorance is no excuse…it’s the real thing. –Irene Peter
Give your decisions, never your reasons. Your decisions may be right, your reasons are sure to be wrong. –Earl of Mansfield
The person who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. -Earl of Mansfield
Where there is the tree of knowledge, there is always paradise: so say the ancient and the modern serpents. –Friedrich Nietzsche
It’s not what you know…its who you know.
It’s not what you know…it’s who knows you.
Of all men’s miseries the bitterest is this, to know so much and to have control over nothing. -Herodotus
Mediocre men often have the most acquired knowledge. –Claude Bernard
All our knowledge has its origins in our perception. –Leonardo da Vinci
Knowledge would ruin my young men. –Papa Hitler
Beware of false knowledge…it is more dangerous than ignorance. -George Bernard Shaw
Life doesn’t cease to be funny when people die, any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. –George Bernard Shaw
One must have a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell without laughing. -Oscar Wilde
In morality (as in most endeavors), the path of least resistance is always downward.
They’re always throwing goodness at you,but with a little bit of luck a man can duck. -Lerner and Loew’s My Fair Lady
Honesty is the best policy. GdL: Let’s be honest, Dishonesty is still the best policy.
Not a pretty sight but this is the real thing..this is the omelette that folks call reality!!! -Thinking about chaos theory
I don’t believe that anything other than being my natural self (?) can protect me from the sterile superficiality of “civilization” and its expectations.
When asked his thoughts about western civilization, Mahatma Gandhi responded: It would be a nice idea.
Now that we’re friends, would you like a body part. GdL: Friendly conversations with Jack the Ripper
Questionable Ideas and Ideals?
Every dogma has its day, but ideals are eternal. GdL: Woof! Wooof! Does that sound reasonable to you?
Living up to someone else’s ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.
Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. -Aldous Huxley
Neither man nor nation can exist without a sublime idea. -Feodor Dostoevski
When an idea is wanting a word can always be found to take its place. -Goethe
Man is ready to die for an idea, provided the idea is not quite clear to him. -Paul Elridge
An idea is a feat of association. -Robert Frost
There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world: and that is an idea whose time has come. -Victor Hugo
The ultimate good is better reached by free trade in ideas. The best test of truth is the power of thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market. –Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr GdL: Kind of like a brands of sardine or bars of soap?
It is impossible for ideas to compete in the marketplace if no forum for their presentation is provided or available. GdL: no shelf space for ideas that aren’t favored by the owners
If ignorance is bliss, there should be a lot more happy people. GdL: perhaps they are happy but too stupid to know it.
Everybody is ignorant…only on different subjects. –Will Rogers
An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out. -Will Rogers
There’s nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we know nothing about. -thanks to Ambrose Bierce
Genuine ignorance is profitable because it is likely to be accompanied by humility, curiosity and open mindedness; whereas the ability to repeat catch phrases, cant terms, familiar propositions, gives the conceit of learning and coats the mind with varnish waterproof to new ideas….One part of knowledge consists in being ignorant of such things as are not worthy to be known. -Crates (4th century BC)
Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of ignorance. -Robert Quillen
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it and finds himself no wiser for it. -Kurt Vonnegut Jr
Not ignorance, but ignorance of ignorance is the death of knowledge. -Alfred North Whitehead.
Not ignorance but the arrogance of ignorance is the real danger.
Wise men learn more from fools than fools from wise men. -Cato
You don’t tell on me…I don’t tell you. It’s a great system. It works every time. Isn’t that unusual…even by your questionable standards(?)
If I expect to live a long long time, I realize that I’ll have to sleep throught half of it. GdL on the virtues of sleeping long and often
Why do they call you the illness, disease that has no name? GdL: I know you. Shit! you got a name.
Simply because a woman looks “sexy” doesn’t mean she wants to have sex with you.
Everybody we know is dying…makes you think, huh?
If it quacks like a Clyde & walks like a Clyde with shoes just like Clyde’s, it’s a sure bet it’s a Clyde Kaddidlehopper or at least someone who stole his shoes
Asi Habla el Diablo
Evil is as evil does, my man.
the devil’s boots don’t creak. -Scottish dicho
Eres el Diablo. No gordita, soy hijo del Diablo. -dialogues with my mother
Why do good things happen to evil people?
You may think I’m a beast…I know i am but what are YOU? -thanks to Pee Wee Herman
I try not to be brutal…though I know the brutality of things.
A truly evil person tells the truth as though it were a lie.
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil…man, you’ve got your work cut out for you.
One should be brutally honest with one’s enemies but lie to one’s friends. GdL: Why hurt their feelings?
Happy birthday? Haven’t you had enough?
Until that day. GdL: Is that a promise or a threat? (from way of the gun)
You are free and that is why you are lost. -Franz Kafka
When the beast dresses in lambs clothing, perhaps one should tread lightly.
I thought she was dead…..why doesn’t anybody stay dead?
Celine Dion has 2 passports…one for herself and one for her nose.
Everybody’s dying…makes you think, huh?
The Wheat is growing thin. / Engines stop humming. / London calling to the underworld. / London calling to the zombies of death. / You know what they said? / Well, some of it was true. -The Clash London Calling
Satan hasn’t a single salaried helper; the opposition employs thousands. -Mark Twain
The devil has only volunteers. So why does he seem to be winning the war when the other side has millions of paid staffers and all the publicity that hypocrisy can generate?-thanks to Mark Twain
Where are you going? Gdl: to hell…wanna come along? What are you doing? GdL: the devil’s work…wanna help?
The devil is a gentleman who never enters where he is not welcomed. -John A. Lincoln
Talk of the devil and his horns appear. -Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody one wants to die. –thanks to Peter Tosh
Time will tell. / You think you’re in heaven but you’re living in hell. –Bob Marley, Crazy Baldheads
Many might go to heaven with half the effort they go to hell. -Ben Jonson
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. -Mark Twain speaking about X-ians
There ought to be a law against the law…….perhaps there is. -thoughts of an outlaw
War is peace. Ignorance is strength. -George Orwell 1984
Truer words were never spoken. GdL: good response to almost any kind of BS
Those are good words….I would repeat them often. –another good response to BS
May you get to heaven a half hour before the devil knows you=re dead. -Irish dicho
Since we have to speak well of the dead, let’s knock them around while they=re still alive. -John Sloan
Any man who hates children and loves whiskey, can’t be all bad. -W.C. Fields
The odds are always good on the losers.
Payback time….Later and always just got a whole lot smaller.
What’s your hurry? Your grave won=t run away.
What goes on in hell anyway???? Gdl: someone who is just a little too curious. (thanks to John Trudell)
Q: What do you have to do to get out of hell? A: You got it wrong, my friend. There is no getting out of hell. Hell is forever. Hell is eternal…It’s not even until you die. You be dead already. –an honest one godder’s explanation of their hell
A barfly’s sad definition of hell: Hot, hot beer and cold, cold women.
Hell is closed for repairs and re-modeling…your damnation has been re routed.
Hell ain’t what it used to be. -nostalgia is everywhere
I wonder if heaven’s got a ghetto? –Tupac Shakur
You can’t say that civilization doesn’t advance…. in every war they kill you in new ways. -Will Rogers
But ye shall destroy their altars, bust up their images and cut down their groves. – yawh in Exodus 34:13 (quoted by G Snyder in Practise of the Wild)
It ain’t those parts of the bible that I can=t understand that bother me, its the parts I do understand. -Mark Twain
The bible tells us to love our neighbors and also to love our enemies….probably because they are the generally the same people. -GK Chesterton
Scriptures (noun): the sacred books of our holy religion as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. -Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. -Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary
Faith-an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. -HL Mencken
Faith in a holy cause is to a considerable extent a substitute for the lost faith in ourselves. -Eric Hoffer The True Beleiver
Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true. -Francis Bacon
If the work of god could be comprehended by reason, it would be no longer wonderful…and faith would have no merit if reason provided proof. -Pope Gregory I
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that thou mayest believe but believe that thou mayest understand. -St Augustine
If the existence of god could be proven what would be the value of faith. -Joseph Campbell
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. -nursery rhyme morality
It is a curious thing that god learned Greek when he wished to turn author…….and that he did not do it better. -FW Nietzche
Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and tortuous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness with which most of the bible is filled, it would be more consistent to call it the word of the demon than the word of god. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind. -Thomas Paine
One god, One bishop. -made sense to Santito Ignatius
There are no secrets in hell.
If you are here…Consider the possibility that you may have chosen the wrong path.
The most savage controversies are those matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. Persecution is used in theology not in arithmetic. -Bertrand Russell
A man convinced against his will is not convinced. -Laurence Peter
I want to embrace my contradictions. I’m no longer interested in resolving them. I want to embrace my ugliness and Share my disgust.
Tell me honestly, do I look like death warmed over. –A diablito of a question
We’re all dying and the calendar is Mr Executioner.
Let’s roll dice for his soul. –el diablo’s offer to Job’s god
My favorite numbers? Less is best and None is best of all.
What’s a good time for a drive-by? Is sevenish good for you?
What happened? There were so many targets over there. Why did you just get two? I was thinking “another Columbine”. Next time, take more ammo. — el diablo chides a shooter
Okay…everyone who forgot to bring their M16, line up against the wall. GdL: Under the category of words you’d prefer not to hear.
Whenever you make a bargain with el diablo, there are always hidden clauses.
Hurt ’em, then Humiliate them. –good chant for any spectator sport
Death ….the binge that never ends…honestly. – el diablo
Evil never takes a holiday. It just keeps thumping away. —el diablo on X-y-no mas vacations!
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled on the world was to convince it he didn’t exist. -The Gimp in The Usual Suspects
That’s called fouling the air, salting the wells and poisoning the soil, my man. –explaining the Law of Evil Intentions
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. GdL: Kindly point it out to me.
Good intentions bore me. –the Evil One speaks
Happy and happen. Roots of each other? Be happy with whatever happens? Does happiness ever just happen or do you have to pay?
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. A lot of knowledge is a very dangerous thing.
When I said you was high class, well, that was just a lie. / You ain’t never caught a rabbit and you ain’t no friend of mine. –Lieber and Stoller’s Hound Dog
What kind of soap is this? I got some in my eyes. El diablo responds: That’s blind man’s soap, my man…and baby, it burns. -under the heading of now that you’ve asked
Bad Advise….Sure to get you arrested most places. Example: Bring on the little 5 year olds and the goats.
is the one with the little girl and the goats? –thank to Lenny Bruce
Grandfathers……..just a group of old perverts who won’t share.
They sang the old pervert’s Internationale: Sammy Davis= Candy Man
It’s so sad when you’re ready to sell your soul and no one’s buying dead souls. –thanks to Gogol
If your mother were alive, she’d scream gimme back that teat milk. -under the heading of the check is overdue
My will fills any vacuum.
We’re the ones we were warned about.
We’ll seal your fate, tear down your state, go get yo’ guns
We, we came to fight
It’s yo’ disgrace, smash up your place, that’s just polite
–We are the ones by the Coup
When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers. -Oscar Wilde
There are people who say I have never really done anything wrong in my life….of course they only say it behind my back. -Oscar Wilde
I hope you have not been leading a double life…pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy. -Oscar Wilde
My only policy is to profess evil and do good. -GB Shaw
My specialty has always been being right when other people are wrong. -GB Shaw
In heaven an angel is nobody in particular. -GB Shaw
Make me chaste and continent, but not just yet. -St Augustine when he was still having fun.
I used to be snow white but I drifted. -Mae West
Are you not frightened to see that perverts and serial killers are more attractive to us than the apostles? -thanks to Ralph Waldo Emerson
The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height….it seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon. -F Kafka
Only our concept of time makes it possible for us to speak of the day of judgement by that name. The reality is that a summary court is perpetually in session. -F Kafka
For Shakespeare, in the matter of religion, the choice lay between Christianity and nothing. He chose nothing. -George Santayana
All diseases of Christians are to be ascribed to demons. -St. Augustine GdL: and there are no vaccines for that kind of ignorance
There has never been a kingdom given to so many civil wars as that of the Christ. -Baron Montesquieu
Most men’s anger about religion is as if two men should quarrel over a lady neither of them care for. -Lord Halifax
Perhaps there is only one mortal sin: impatience. Because of impatience we were driven out of paradise…because of impatience, we cannot return. -F Kafka
Hell is a place where the motorist are French, the policemen are German and the cooks are English. -Bertrand Russell
Hell is given up so reluctantly by those who don’t expect to go there. -Harry Leon Smith
Why do evil things happen to good people? GdL: Because.
Why do good things happen to evil people? -GdL: Life is funny that way.
good to know i have high friends in low places…
there is no beer in heaven…that’s why we have to drink it here. – thinking of the version by the Texas Tornadoes